A first date is a lot like trying a new dish – you will either love it or hate it. There is no getting used to it because it’s not hostel food. But a first date is trickier than a meal especially after morality aunts have long fixed a recipe for first dates – coffee, dinner, and at the most a peck on the cheek. This is a safe field to play in but no one said you can’t do more.
Coffee shops are ideal spots to meet and estimate the time you can spend together and see if there is a connection. Things may be steamy online or over the phone but with someone across the table, it’s a new ball game altogether. Your date could be a friend, prospective sex buddy, or relationship material. Plot out all the possibilities over coffee before you start making moves. The quest for fun should not leave you in a retrospective coma.
Mostly all first dates have one motive – to seduce, and typically end with one of two reactions – dump or jump. But how far you would go on your first date depends on your mutual attraction. But how do you gauge interest?
For the confused, there are signs that can show you the way
Check if you are getting into a friendly conversation
It so happens that you have too many things in common and agree on everything. If both of you are saying, “I was about to say that,” and thinking, “he/she is a lot like me,” then this clearly is the start of a great friendship. If the conversation starts going into past relationships then you know for sure you are entering ‘buddydom’; you both are comfortable with each other but are not looking at each other as partners
Deep conversations might show their genuine interest in you
You have been chasing this one for a while and finally, have a date. You have taken extra care to dress up, smell good, and think of conversation starters. When you meet your delectable delight, the evening surpasses all expectations and you want more. More than reciprocation of smiles, you are thinking bases while the other person is playing innocent. It may not be bad news. Your date could be really into you but may not want to rush. They may want to talk a little more. Use the time to understand if you have a future; you will have enough and more time to get intimate later.
Pick the flirty cues and check if you are willing to respond to them
Are you staring at your date’s lips or eyes? Girls, stop playing with your hair and keep the pout and parted lips look in control. The situation being such, you are thinking of consuming your date for dinner if that could be possible. If your date is hot and you are having a good time, then you could take the fun to the next level. Drop necessary cues; suggest your obsession with tequila shots and dance floors. Allow your date to come up with the name of a club. Dance, observe and figure out if this is what you want to end up with in bed. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they move on the dance floor
Make a metal note of the kind of conversations you have
If your date genuinely wants to invest in you emotionally and is even slightly serious about will share their life stories, about friends and family as well. If your date is looking for something casual, chances are that your conversation won’t move past flirting. If you too are wanting something casual, then go ahead and keep flirting and even more if things start spicing up. If not, well your heart will tell where you stop.
A perfect date always ends with a kiss
“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous,” said the immortal Ingrid Bergman. If you are looking for oxytocin for dessert, go for the tongue dip. But if you want to wait for signs, observe body language and then plant a kiss. It could go very wrong and end up in disappointment. How do you know? Well, you can always ask. The trick to a kiss – keep it simple.
Spot these leads early on and turn your date into a night to remember. Don’t preoccupy yourself with thoughts of what your date will think of you; instead, focus on having fun, talking, and getting to know each other. Conversations can be stimulating if you are imaginative, but stay away from discussing the weather, past relationships, and current sorrows. Take the date as far as you can handle without feeling bad later.
First date is not the time or place for window shopping for a relationship; it is about conversations, touch and go, and fun. Play cool but not indifferent, be polite but not eager, and remember to say ‘no’ when you want to. Point is, go as far as your body commands you to!
