The very popular and one of the most celebrated beliefs “All is fair in love and war” have ruined the concept of an ideal relationship. To make it worse, romantic films too, have set up unreal expectations about love where Mr. Love is often shown having all the free time in the world which he uses to make Miss Love fall in love with him. I am sure we have not once tried to find sense in this as we believe it’s all fair in the name of love.
There are so many behavioural traits shown in the movies through the characters that are completely unacceptable ‘in the name of love’. Kabir Singh still stands to be one of the greatest examples of how exactly love should not be. Yet another example is Ae Dil Hai Muushkil where Ranbir Kapoor seems to be completely incapable of taking a clear NO for an answer from his love interest Anushka Sharma. To add to this is Bachna Ae Haseeno, in which even after fooling around and mocking the emotions of three women, Raj, the character of Ranbir Kapoor expects, rather compels them to forgive him.
Such factors lead to a false image of love in our minds. There are various behavioural traits that we let pass in the name of love but in actuality should be completely unacceptable
Some prominent ones are :
Let Your Partner Take You For Granted
A sorry, chocolates, rose or a gift cannot always be a solution. You cannot always let your partner get away with things or behaviour that puts you in pain. If there is a certain aspect of your partner’s behaviour that you dislike, it’s important you convey it to him/her clearly so that he/she doesn’t repeat it. It is a tendency of many to exercise their rights over their partners which leads to them taking their partners for granted. This is one of the most common unacceptable things people do in the name of love. When this happens, you also gradually start blurring the lines between taking him/her for granted and disrespecting him/her.
Become An Overgiver
Any relationship, be it of any kind, runs smoothly only when two people put equal efforts. With one-sided effort, a relationship is bound to derail. Overgiving is a behavioural trait most of us have. There is no harm in becoming a giving person as long as others too, reciprocate. If you are the only one who is willing to fix things while your partner is busy blaming you for everything wrong, it’s time you stop trying right there. In most cases, a person who is an over giver emotionally suffers a lot. There comes a time when drawing boundaries becomes imperative.
Compromise On Your Career
If your relationship forces you to compromise on your career against your will, it’s already rendered futile. No partner who genuinely loves you would want you to diverge from your career path. Rather, he/she would help and support you to take progressive steps towards your goals. If you feel your relationship is coming in the way of your career path, it’s time to take a step back, reflect on a few things and act accordingly. Career is an important part of any individual’s life because ultimately, it is a career that is going to help one earn his/her bread and butter. You make sure you add more bricks in building your career than a relationship.
Lose Your Financial Independence
‘Jo mera hai woh tumhara hai’ mentality though romantic, isn’t pragmatic. Make sure you aren’t exhausting your earnings for someone you aren’t sure is going to be a permanent part of your life. This mentality can pass for a husband and wife, but definitely not for those dating. You must definitely trust your partner, but never hand over your financial independence, your earnings in the hands of your boyfriend/girlfriend.
The existence of equality in a relationship is as important as trust and understanding. Your partner is not your master and so he/she must not dominate or control your life. Following your partner’s instructions and complying with his/her orders will make you submissive. This is not how love should be. Both partners must deal with situations together in cooperation rather than becoming bossy.
Equality, respect, giving each other their personal space, understanding each other, moving ahead in life with utmost support and cooperation is important to make a relationship live forever. Without these factors, love just cannot thrive. Sure, love and relationship also include making compromises and letting go off minor things, but only if they stay in limits.