What he says is not necessarily what you get. Razi Shaikh decodes the words men frequently utter but don’t always mean
10. “We’re just friends.”
What he actually means: I’ll act like your boyfriend but I’m not your boyfriend.
Why he says it: This is the safest strategy. Until and unless things actually take a turn, either in his favour or against, he need not bark about it in public. If things don’t work out, he gets saved from being declared the fallen martyr of the friendzone kingdom.
9. “We’ll stay in touch.”
What he actually means: If we are to stay in touch, you will have to do most of the work.
Why he says it: Building and sustaining any relationship requires much effort and it gets worse when people move to different cities. It’s not a male thing to pick up the phone and call up his friends every other night. That kind of emotional bonding is what we associate women with. Still, at the time of parting, the most courteous and friendly thing to do is to promise to stay connected.
8. “This is the last drink.”
What he actually means: There is no such thing as the last drink.
Why he says it: No guy ever sits to drink with a target in mind. Guys don’t fancy someone lecturing them on when and how much to drink. Their displeasure is conveyed with a pitcher full of sarcasm or, as the wise man does, in the form of the above assurance, promptly followed by another drink.
7. “I’m not going to be out for too long.”
What he actually means: I’m going to be out for a long time.
Why he says it: Nagging from girlfriends/spouses is one thing most men in a relationship dread. Women might call it concern but a concern twice repeated is nagging in the average male’s dictionary; so before setting out for a night adventure with his bros, this false assurance needs to be given.
6. “I’m not addicted to porn.”
What he actually means: I’m a guy and let’s be clear on this: there are two kinds of men in the world – one who watches porn and the other who is a liar.
Why he says it: A lot of women find the idea of watching porn creepy and most would rather not hear of their partners or guy friends watching it. As that has little to no chance of happening, the next best thing for a guy to do is to state they can control their habit, and not the other way round.
5. “I remembered it until yesterday.”
What he actually means: My memory is not your calendar. I can’t keep stock of all wretched occasions.
Why he says it: Men tend to not to remember birthdays, anniversaries, special days that had been decided years ago and the like. Not that men have a memory problem, it’s just that they don’t retain the less important stuff.
4. “I was stuck in traffic/I was driving/I was in a meeting.”
What he actually means: I wasn’t busy but I wasn’t interested either in picking up your call either.
Why he says it: It’s not easy for a man to admit that he is in no mood to talk (either due to exhaustion, boredom, or something similar). This excuse is therefore dished out.
3. “It’s a long story.”
What he actually means: It IS a long story but you’re not going to hear of it.
Why he says it: Some things (*cough* skeletons in the closet *cough*) are meant to stay there. No man worth his pride is actually going to talk about it.
2. “I’m fine.”
What he actually means: I’m kind of screwed here but my ego will keep the news away from your ears.
Why he says it: Men prefer to handle their problems alone, in their own way. Any offer for help, at least in the beginning, is taken as an indication that they can’t manage it on their own. Until all his options are exhausted, he is not going to accept he is in trouble.
1. “Sure/Yes/I get you.”
What he actually means: What on earth are you talking about?
Why he says it: When it comes to those long drawn conversations, which few men have an appetite for, there is little they can do other than nod every now and then, or add an occasional ‘yes’, ‘right’ and so on. That is the cue for you to change the topic and wake him from his slumber.
Volume 3 Issue 10
