The idea of perfect love or a perfect relationship is quite fascinating to imagine, but what exactly is it? Is it the fairytale we see in Disney movies, where all’s well that ends well? Or is it the classic cliché we see in most TV shows and movies? The answer is, that unfortunately, perfect love doesn’t really exist. Everything that you see is people’s own definition of love, and what it means for them.
If you’re in a relationship and feel like certain things are different from a conventional relationship, it doesn’t always mean that it’s a red flag. It could be, but it doesn’t have to be. The best way to define perfect love is to define it yourself. Ask yourself, why are you in the relationship? If the answer truly satisfies you, then it doesn’t matter if your relationship isn’t what the conventional definition says it should be.
The important thing to realize is that relationships are complex, and I don’t mean it in a complicated way, it just means that there are a lot more layers than we see portrayed in movies and shows. Two things that are crucial to a relationship are communication and clarity, and this is important because humans evolve, and with them, their needs also evolve. It is okay to have your needs change over a period of time, wanting different things from your partner is normal, but you have to communicate these needs and create grounds of clarity so that both of you are on the same page.
The ‘perfect love’ also stems from the idea and concept of romanticizing romance itself. It happens in a way that we’re almost blinded by our own expectations, and we don’t realize that perhaps we were chasing the idea of love instead of the person. How does this happen? We often tend to put people on pedestals, and believe that our problems will magically be solved by specific people or certain relationships. We get so caught up in the fantasy of how our lives should be with that person in that relationship, that it wrongly defines the dynamic, because it wasn’t ours to begin with.
It becomes a problem when it blocks us from seeing others’ true humanity and puts people into boxes they didn’t ask to be put into. Having hopes and dreams is natural in a relationship, and to a certain extent it is healthy too, because it creates a path to lightly guide the relationship, but it is also important to leave some space for the natural and co-created evolution that sweet romance and love require.