June is the commencement of the new academic year. Most of you are being shuffled into new classes. As you step into your new classroom, your eyes embark on a quest to discern a familiar face from a crowd of aliens.
Everyone desires to amalgamate successfully with their new peers. The simplest way to circumvent this tempestuous ocean is, indubitably, through humour. Being the class conquistador isn’t as daunting a task as it seems. To begin with, socialise well enough to have at least five friends who would flank you throughout. You don’t want to be the only one laughing at your jokes now, do you? Then implement The Pantaloon Formula, a failsafe guide to being the class farceur (trust me; this is one equation you will not repent).
Everybody loves a good wit
Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure. The single most compelling factor to catapult your likeability quotient to its zenith is your wit. Experimenting with new jokes amongst your close-knit group of friends serves as a whetstone to sharpen your wit, which you can then unveil to the rest of your classroom.
The majority of male minds reading this have probably been visited by fleeting thoughts of Emma Watson. Before Watson debunked the story, there were rumours that Emma’s class joker was the reason for her to leave Brown University. Every time Watson answered a question correctly in class, the jester would apparently exclaim, “3 points to Gryffindor!”
Never cease to surprise
“The secret to humour is surprise,” said Aristotle, the erudite Greek philosopher. I second that thought. Who doesn’t love surprises? Aristotle inadvertently, if not backed by volition, unlocked the door to a prolific sense of humour, and fortunately for us mortals, left the key in the lock. The job of a class joker is pretty easy for those who have surprise on their resumés. Stressing on the importance of surprise, Tanay Karnik, a college student from Mumbai says, “Monotony in humour just culminates in a dry classroom. On the contrary, periods full of surprise tend to shorten the time between the ringing of recessannouncement bells.”
The class joker always has something up his sleeve – if your classmates anticipate a rabbit-out-of-ahat, be prepared to amaze them with a snake-from-a-shoe. Surprise is directly proportional to amusement.
Spin your yarns and spin them good
The Raconteur Theorem (a supplement to our Pantaloon Formula) states that in order to be the class clown, it is essential to grab keen ears with fascinating anecdotes. Remember – the implausibility of your stories varies directly with your likeability. The most incredible storytellers are often the most widely beloved too. If your classmates vest even a modicum of credulity in your stories, you aren’t doing a good enough job.
Don’t hesitate to take risks
Well, you’ll have to leverage something. If you can somehow build up the confidence, and are completely cognisant of the consequences, you might want to have a go at your jocular teachers. In my opinion, if you make an analysed decision and time your jokes well, you might be lucky enough to get away with it. For instance, the next time your teacher mounts the boring nostalgic horse-down-memorylane, and begins, “When I was a little kid–” you might want to interrupt with “Ma’am, let me guess. You rode dinosaurs?”
Keep it PG
Tongue-in-cheek humour might appeal to many, but the moment humour descends below the belt, it gets ugly. A well-projected decent sense of humour is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of school and college life. Decency in humour is widely appreciated, to an extent that even teachers augment the roar of laughter. Prabhu Sachdeva, a student of Narsee Monjee College, often deemed by his classmates as the jester of his classroom, sums it up, “Jokes are funny when they’re spontaneous. While trivial jokes about a teacher’s funny accent or eccentric dressing sense offer a hearty laugh, some jokes, for instance mocking someone’s physical appearance or deformities, tend to cross the line. And then they cease to be humorous. Being a class joker isn’t an easy job. You have to know exactly what to say and when to say it.”
FAMOUS CLASS CLOWNS
Everyone expects comedians to have been jokers in school, but not many expect straight arrows to have once had a mean humour streak.
Blake Lively: Lively was voted the Class Clown when she was in high school, way back in 2005.
John Mayer: The sombrefaced musician reportedly has a gregarious sense of humour.
Missy Elliot: This rap star was yet another Class Clown during her school days.
Daniel Radcliffe: Pokerfaced Harry Potter is a hoot in real life. Of the many things he has done, one is fiddling with co-star Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid’s) cell phone and changing its language to Turkish.
Volume 3 Issue 12