A to Z of Social Networking

Caught in the complex web of social networking? Vatsala Chhibber compiles a useful guide for every social media user #mustread!

ANTI-SOCIAL NETWORKING

Is social networking weakening human connections and making us anti-social? The answer seems to be yes as the results of a recent survey conducted by schools.com point to a socially awkward generation. The big surprise was when 39 per cent respondents said they prefer socialising online rather than face to face. However, Facebook is also helping the socially awkward as 83 per cent said social networking helped those who were shy and lonely to meet new people.

BLOOPERS

• British singer Susan Boyle was part of a pretty embarrassing Twitter moment. While promoting the release of her album she used the hashtag: #susanalbumparty (susan album party) which, if read incorrectly looks like an invite for a kinky sex party (sus anal bum party)!
• While attempting to send a direct message to Justin Bieber, Charlie Sheen (of Two and a Half Men fame) accidentally tweeted his number to millions of followers. Despite deleting the tweet immediately, Charlie received thousands of phone calls and messages.
• Ryan Seacrest revealed the name of the contestant who would be eliminated from American Idol on twitter before the show aired.

COUPLE ACCOUNTS
A great way to induce nausea and other puke-inducing symptoms.

DEPRESSION
There has been some debate on whether social networking sites can actually lead to depression. Researchers claim that comparing one’s lives with those you see on your news feed can lead to a feeling of inadequacy leading to ‘Facebook Depression’. In addition, a study conducted by The Centre for Eating Disorders at Sheppard Pratt saw the following results: 75 per cent of people believe they need to lose weight after seeing their pictures online. 51 per cent said they spend time comparing their own lives to others based on the status updates they read and the pictures they see. 32 per cent said they felt sad when comparing their profiles to others on the site.

EMBARRASSING PICTURES
Sometimes the untag option just isn’t enough because you never know when that photograph of you with your head in the commode resurfaces. Luckily, Facebook has come to the rescue of ‘photo trauma’ victims by promising to delete embarrassing photos within 30 days of receiving a complaint. Phew! And if you fancy a quick laugh, SnapChat allows you to send pictures to your friends which automatically self-destruct in a matter of seconds, leaving no trace behind in the digital world.

FOLLOWERS
Twitter has transformed everyday people into rulers, Lords, Commanders, even Gurus by coining one simple word – Followers. Here’s how you can increase the number of subjects in your Twitter kingdom:

• Tweet often. One tweet a day is a must.
• Your tweets should be humorous, informative, provocative or witty. Mundane or vague updates won’t work.
• Use hashtags, especially the ones that are trending. You will find more information on hashtags later.
• Follow people who share your interests as they are more likely to follow you back.

GOOGLE
No reason. We just want to thank Google for making life easier. <3

HASHTAG
A hashtag (#) is essentially a tool to classify tweets according to topic. So if you use the hashtag #collegehumour, people searching for that particular hashtag will be able to view your tweet as well. Twitter displays a list of trending hastags, opting for one of those  guarantees more viewers. The word hastag itself has become a trend, so much so that a British couple actually decided to name their daughter Hashtag! Some of the most popular Twitter hastags are:
#threewordstoliveby
#FAIL
#nowplaying
# idontunderstandwhy
#whatimissmost

INSTAGRAM
The application that has made our new feeds more beautiful, photography more accessible and everyday life more colourful.
Tip: Instead of using a single filter for your Instagram photos, try re Instagramming the photograph with different filters for better results.

JUNKIES
Are you constantly refreshing your news feed to see how many Likes you have? Do you see social outings as an opportunity to get a new profile picture? Do you check your Twitter account before you brush your teeth in the morning? If your answers are yes, then you, my non-Facebook friend, are a social media junkie. Well, you’re not alone. In fact, youngsters in Australia are actually turning to hypnotherapy to cure their social media addiction. If you feel the obsession creeping in, it might help to go on a social-media detox for a couple of weeks.

KK AND OTHER ABBREVS
As the English language dies a slow death thanks to social networking, here are some of the latest additions in the SML (social media lingo):
IDK: I don’t know
JK: Just Joking
FTW: For the Win
BFN: Bye for now
Yoyo: You’re on your own

LIKES
Did you ever imagine a world where the word ‘like’ would be more powerful than ‘love’? If you’re looking for more Likes on Facebook, you need to post more photographs. According to a recent study, people generally Like and share pictures more than statuses, videos and other links.

MILLIONS
Facebook has more than 900 million active users (if Facebook was a country, it would be the third largest in the world).

• More than 300 million photos are uploaded on Facebook everyday
•  1 million people join Twitter everyday (that’s 11 new accounts every second!)
•  There are more than 190 million tweets everyday
• Lady Gaga has the most popular Twitter account

NARCISSISM
It’s true. Social networking has created an increase in narcissistic tendencies. Not only that, a study claims it also results in ‘self-absorption, vanity, superiority, and exhibitionistic tendencies’. Are you sure you want to tell people what you ate for lunch today?

OTHER SITES
Pinterest : One of the more productive social networking websites. You can create your own pinboards with pictures, art, fashion, movies and other interests. A visual delight!
Pheed: Said to be the new celebrity flooded networking site. The focus is on posting and sharing multimedia.
StumbleUpon: Explore the most interesting sites on the web. One of the more enriching time-wasters.
Meetup: Finds groups in your city that match your interests and plan meetings.

PRIVACY
While privacy policies are subjective, here are some people we recommend you keep on limited profile: your parents, your boss, people under the age of 13 (it’s illegal for them to be on Facebook), anyone who posts messages from God and people who still play Farmville. Actually, why are you friends with people who still play Farmville?

QUITTERS
While millions sign up to new social networking sites every day, there are those who are adopting a Facebook/Twitter-free existence. The reasons? Focusing on real-life connections, increasing productivity, releasing the pressure of comparing lives, exploring other means of recreation, etc. Doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

RUMOURS
Justin Beiber has been diagnosed with cancer, please shave your heads to support him #baldforbeiber. Hollywood actor Morgan Freeman is dead. Facebook has changed its copyright policy, please share this on your timelines (so many of you fell for this one). Don’t believe everything you read on social networking sites.

SPAMMERS/SPOILERS
If you share your personality quiz scores, tag people in random inspirational photographs, or reveal the unpredictable movie endings through your status updates – you are a news feed spammer. If your friend list has been mysteriously dwindling of late, new you know why.

TIMING
While posting on social networking sites, timing is everything. These are the findings from the link shortening service Bit.ly: The best time to post on Facebook is at 3 pm on Wednesdays. On other days the best time to post is by 11 am and the worst time is between 8 pm and 8 am.
The best time to tweet is between 1 and 3 pm on a Monday afternoon. Avoid posting links after 8 pm on weekdays and 3 pm on Fridays.

URINAL NETWORKING
One third of Americans use social networking websites in the bathroom, according to a survey by Nielsen. Looks like the queues outside washrooms is only going to get longer.

VILLIANS
These are the people who make social networking an unpleasant experience:
The Whiner – Complains, vents and generously spreads dissatisfaction.
The Annoying Animal Lover – Floods your news feed with pictures of their pet.
The 24-hour service – The first to like/share/comment on any post.
The Recurring Request Maker – Like my page! Did you like my page yet? Are you coming for my event?
The Late Reporter – Has just started sharing Rebecca Black videos.

WARS
Where there is more than one celebrity, there is a battle. While Twitter has given us access to our beloved celebrities, it has also exposed their unflattering sides. Here are some of the most controversial celebrity wars millions viewed on Twitter:
Ayesha Takia vs Siddhartha Mallya
Ayesha: The worst airline,kingfisher!!!shockingly baddddddddddd airport staff behavior at delhi airport with my sister.

Sidharth: Been getting retweets about Ayesha Takia & KFA. not too sure who she is, an actor of some sorts?? But it seems something has upset her!! Don’t know why Ayesha Takia is tweeting so much when she wasn’t even present. There are always two sides to a story. Pipe down love.

Ayesha: I will rant siddharth mallaya,,wot will u DO!!!!!this Is ur way of dealing with a hospitality buiseness!!!wow!!learn manners n respect!!!
Shobhaa De vs Sonam Kapoor
Shobhaa: As for Sonam, the lassie lacks oomph, even if she does have a great smile and can act.

Sonam: Guys please don’t take Shobha De seriously. She’s a fossil who’s getting no action and going through menopause.

X-TREME STALKING
The art of stalking has been refined thanks to social networking. From checking your ex’s profile every ten minutes to scouring through your crush’s Facebook profile, most people have used social networking sites for ‘stalking’. However, reports of an extreme case emerged where a man created a fake profile to spy on his ex-wife. When he found photos of her with another man on her profile, he went to her house and slit her throat!

Y U NO
Y u no stop using the Y u no meme? He’s ugly.

ZUCKERBURG HACKING
“It’s time to fix those security flaws on Facebook.” This is what hackers said as they posted private photographs of Mark Zuckerburg on an image hosting site. Looks like even the creator of Facebook can’t play too safe with his privacy settings.

Volume 2 Issue 7