The Parent Trap

Populating the content of phone conversations and diary entries of today’s youth are the ‘irrational’ yet lovable parents. To live with persistent advocates of the last generation’s culture comes with considerable challenges.
So you want those über-cool sneakers. But the only response you seem to be getting from your parents is “you don’t really need them.” It may seem frustrating and unattainable. Your pleas are probably met with constant refusals, making you give up on arguments even before they’ve begun! However, it is possible to occasionally win some rounds against your parents.
So lighten up and use some of these techniques. They are sure to help you attain permission for almost anything you want from your folks.

Consider Your History
Past grades, back-answering sessions, reluctance to do chores and so on will probably be the major constituents of their speech on why you can’t do what you want to do. Think of reasonable counter-arguments to the unfortunate facts they are in all probability going to use as ammunition. Further, for a comparatively smoother future, ensure that they do not have much ‘bad history’ to refer to.

Set the Mood for a Smooth ‘YES’
It is much easier to pose an argument before a relaxed and smiling parent. It’s best to ensure that they are free of all forms of stress when you choose to begin your conversation. If this calm mood is not easily accessible, showing them a picture of you as an infant should do the trick and having them smiling in seconds!

Get Straight to the Point
The sooner you reach the happy ending, the better. Some may argue that being too blatant could be seen as offensive by some parents. However, your parents know you better than you think and will pick up on the not-sosubtle signals you will inevitably emit (This can be avoided with practice!).

Show a Sense of Responsibility
Exhibiting a sense of responsibility will go a long way in getting you what you want. For example, if you want to go for a late-night party, try giving them the numbers of at least three reliable friends. They will be at rest if you promise to keep to the pre-decided curfew. And, we suggest you stick to it if you plan to ask them for permission to go to the next party!

Keep the Promises You Make
This is probably the toughest part of the process. But it almost often guarantees long-term success. Keeping in mind the rules set by your parents will only make them trust you more thus making the process of approval much easier for the future!
Most importantly, before executing this process, think clearly about what you want and whether it is worth the trouble. If it is, then we have your back!

Show Them a Happy Ending
Have you wondered why parents are so quick to refuse their children’s requests? One of the main reasons is because they do not believe their children take decisions that are good for themselves. The easiest way around this hurdle is to convince your parents to see the happy ending that you see for yourself.
Remember to be authentic because it is unlikely that your parents will believe that gaming on the X Box will enable you to be a better student. However, if you want to convince your parents of your career choices, this can prove to be an effective solution.

Listen if You Want to be Heard
Parents often use the line ‘if you want to be treated like an adult, start acting like one’. So if you show your parents that you can handle an argument like an adult, chances are it might actually end in your favour.
In case you find yourself losing the argument, listen to their point of view before you start blaming them for being unfair. This will prevent the argument from heating up and will also show your parents that you are willing to have a rational discussion.

A Note of Caution
Now that you are armed with these tips, your ability to negotiate effectively with your parents is sure to improve. But before you head in for the big battle, make sure you are fully prepared. Think about how you can best present your case and also avoid the one mistake that most children make. Do not act stubborn or lose your cool if you are arguing with your parents. The last thing you want is to end the session with screaming matches and slamming doors. Temper tantrums will only ruin your chances of getting things your way, both now and in the future.
Remember that ‘my way or the highway’ is not the only possible solution. Sometimes it’s alright to meet your parents half way and compromise slightly. Maybe you don’t get your ideal curfew time, but atleast you get to attend a great party.
So go ahead and try these techniques, blend them with a few of your own if you like. We hope it helps to covert that dreaded ‘no’ into a heart warming ‘yes!’ Good luck and happy bargaining!

Disclaimer: Youth Inc cannot be held responsible for the possible effects of this process. This could possibly include confiscation of beloved items by parents, getting grounded, or an increase in house chores to be attended to.

Tips to Keep in Mind

• Try not to sound like a spoilt brat for whom whining is the only method.
•  If your parents ask you to stop bothering them, it’s best to do just that.
• Be prepared to hear the answer ‘no’.
• Don’t yell or slam the door in anger. This behavior will get you nowhere.
• Learn to negotiate with your parents.
• If you promise your parents that you will do something, make sure you stick to your word.
• Prove you can be responsible if you want your parents to bend the rules
•  Get to know your parents and allow your parents to get to know you too.
• Give them time to think about your request.
• Compromise is the key to getting close to what you want.

Volume 2 Issue 1