Dating your best friend’s ex can be a confusing and an unenviable predicament for anyone. According to some, this is wrong and unjustifiable but for others, it is all fair in love.
It is believed that a situation like this can be a tricky one considering if you choose your love interest, your friendship will come to an end and if you choose your friend, you would have no option but to walk away from your possible life partner.
But this is not about who you should choose or not choose. Rather, it is about asking you to observe the situation from all angles, look for signs and then decide whether it is okay or not okay to date your best friend’s ex.
Here are some of the ways to know whether you should or shouldn’t date your best friend’s ex! (For easy understanding, let your best friend be a girl and your love interest be a boy)
You Should Date When:
1. It is all in the History
When your best friend sees her past relationship with her ex as nothing more than a situation of the past, then you can go ahead with your decision. She does not mention him in her conversations anymore nor does she associate him to any of her things, it is a sign that she is totally over him. If you’ve been her friend for years and have seen her moving on in a healthy way, it shouldn’t be a problem.
2. It was a Mutual deal
Your best friend and her ex (which is now your love interest), had decided to end it all with mutual understanding and it is clear that they don’t blame each other for anything. It was not a bad or heart-breaking breakup, rather a very mature step. If this is the case, you can go ahead and approach the guy with your feelings.
3. There is friendship
Being friends with one’s ex makes everything look easy and less complicated. If your best friend is friends with her ex and both of them respect each other for who they are, then you have all the reasons to start your love story.
4. Best Friend approves
To avoid all misunderstandings, you can directly communicate your thoughts to your best friend and know what she has to say about it. This way she won’t be surprised when you both declare the relationship nor will you feel guilty about your decision. She might get pissed at first but that shouldn’t be a reason for you to not ask.
5. Nobody was Serious
Your best friend never truly felt about her ex and nor did her ex. They had hit off for temporary reasons and no more sees their relationship as a serious one. If this is the scenario, your best friend is probably not going to care. The path is clear for you and you shouldn’t wait to make the final decision.
You Shouldn’t Date When:
1.The best friend is important
If you have been best friends with this girl for years and never thought of replacing her with anyone, then you shouldn’t take this chance. Friendships are one of the purest relationships one can have and having a best friend around is more comforting than having someone who might only be invested in you for a temporary basis. Let it go. It was just a crush.
2. Ex had cheated
Nothing turns off a girl than someone who has cheated someone in their past. If your love interest, who also happens to be your best friend’s ex had cheated on your best friend during their relationship, it is a clear sign that the guy is NOT WORTH IT. Don’t give him chances and expect that he has changed. Know that you deserve better and disrespecting your friend and yourself can never be an option.
3. There is no room for conversation
If she is your best friend, it is obvious that you would have initiated a conversation about your new love interest to her and if you didn’t, it already feels that you are not confident about your decision. How does your best friend react when you talk to her about her ex? Does she flip out? If that is so, then she is giving you clear signs that she is not happy with your decision. Respect her decision and drop the plan. It might be hurtful for all.
4. The best friend hasn’t moved on
In a situation like this, you are probably going to complicate things for everyone. Your best friend is struggling to accept the breakup and if you bring her ex and introduce him as your new love, it will only make it more difficult for her. In the process, you might end up losing your best friend for life. It is advisable that you first help her get over the breakup in a healthy way and while you do so, keep your feelings.
5. The Breakup is Recent
GIVE TIME. If the breakup is a messy one, it wouldn’t be right to express your feelings at the moment. Both of them are still figuring out their ways out. Even if you think that they decided to end it with zero hard feelings, it would still not be right. Your best friend will probably think that you don’t care about her and was only waiting for them to separate.
There you go! Look for the signs; understand the situation to maturely deal with the consequences. However, if you are someone who is only looking for FWB or a temporary relationship, it would be better if you drop this plan. There are plenty of options available on the internet today, which will be helpful to you.