Old School Romance?


Based on our previous relationship stories on how today’s youth thrives on speed dating and moving from one partner to the next just as quickly as we change our phones from the iPhone 6 to the iPhone 6S or Plus, is it safe to say that the days of old school romance is lost in the world today? Nancy Varghese takes a look at how not all relationships began or are based on the technology that we depend on

From swiping right on her numerous selfies to double tapping on her Insta feed, everything is silver-plattered, spoon-fed to the generation today, when it comes to approaching a potential life mate. Looking at a person’s face, liking it, sending a DM, giggle-flirt-blush and an hour’s worth of conversation later, you both are already Facebook friends and/or have considered each other an integral part of your Whatsapp list. Then begins the fast paced world of so called modern dating where there is immense pressure to impress the other person with either smart one-liners, enough cash in your wallet for an evening filled with alcohol and EDM, or surprise visits with candy and flowers. Not more than a month (if you’re lucky, two to four months later), you’ve moved on from your ‘jaanu’ and started fishing for the next big fish in the sea. Such is love in the time of 3G.


What if we tell you, not all relationships start or end that way? There still exist couples in the city and the world, who went the old-fashioned way, so to speak, and managed to create their ‘happy ever after’, proving that one doesn’t need an app to hold on to their true love. There have been couples who met their partners in church, giving an almost literal touch to the term ‘brought together in holy matrimony’, while there have been relationships built in exchange programs in a foreign country and the promise of letters and postcards from across the seas. They persevered, and their love lived to tell the tale. In a very unconventional way, even the youth of this generation, the ones who are reprimanded for being obsessed with technology, have had their share of romance, the traditional way. Dates still take place at bookstores, walking through the aisles of fiction and bestsellers and excitedly murmuring fond memories of authors that kept their souls awake at night. Cafes still witness a shy first date of the nervous and awkward guy awaiting the arrival of the girl he’d been mesmerized by for the longest time.


No doubt that convenience has become a buzzword and of utmost need of the hour since it helps us keep in touch with our loved ones no matter where we are. But even so, it is very hard to explain the feverish anticipation of a letter that you patiently wait everyday to reach you from someone so far apart. Sometimes an unsuspecting postcard makes its way to you and maybe the postman has a parcel that gets you in a tizzy because a birthday or an anniversary is near. Using phones from our houses and telling them to meet you on this day, in this hour, at that place and rushing to your destination, craning your neck in every direction hoping to spot them. Love can’t be boxed into a category that you get to tick, but neither can you expect old time love to understand what a blue tick on your Whats-app screen means to you, can you? All said and done, try and give your love a shot with the ways of the days of yore (or what feels like it). Leave your phone at home and try to focus on what your partner’s day was like. Turn off your data pack and notice how the person in front of you smiles when they talk and show interest in what you have to say. And if it gets a little much, maybe even try and send the long forgotten SMS every now and then telling people how much you miss or think of them. Not only will it come as a pleasant surprise, you will be genuinely making someone’s day.


While you are at it, why not give the old ‘flowers-n-candy’ a shot as well? Maybe the surprise box of muffins at the doorstep or the random message telling them the smallest thing that you love about them. It may seem the worst idea on the planet at first, but why not care to hear the stories that your parents or grandparents have to tell you about love? We have all heard the uninvited speeches that start with ‘back in our days’ or ‘when I was your age’, right when we don’t want them to preach. Maybe you can voluntarily give some of those stories a listen when they tell you how the concept of love was very different back then. Their ideas will definitely be as unexpected as they come, and your significant other may be in for a huge surprise when you implement them in your life today. Talk about old school being the era of the most romantic movies and books, Romeo-Juliet wasn’t a relationship built on social networking now, was it?


All things said and done, none of the above mentioned ideas of love have to be your anthem. Understandably, it isn’t possible to live in a world like today and not be dependent on the various forms of communication available to us to be connected to each other. However, the next time, you may just want to smile at the heart shaped cream in your cappuccino, than dismiss it cynically, if you think about young love, won’t you?


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