Grief is one of the many inevitable truths we simply have to face at some point in our lives. Grief comes in many forms, the most prominent being grief over losing someone dear to you. Given its complicated and painful nature, it’s important to treat your grief in the healthiest possible way and in time, get over it. We’ve given an account of how it’s important to face grief and how to deal with it.
Face your loss –
Probably the most important part of facing grief is accepting it. Often when we’re faced with traumatic situations, our first reaction to it is to go in denial. This is a perfectly normal response, but accepting your loss is the most important step in order to try and feel better. After accepting your loss, try to cope with it in a healthy way. Resorting to substance abuse, non-productive behaviour or promiscuity is always the easier options, but rarely, if ever, bears a positive result. Force yourself to feel your pain in a healthy way and avoid running away from it.
Let your pain out –
find a way to positively and safely let out your grief, either through a hobby or by keeping yourself distracted. Ensure that letting out your sadness does not encompass hurting yourself or anyone. Try to write about it, paint your feelings, try cooking, or working to productively accept and comb through your feelings.
Talk to someone –
Talking to people about your feelings is a great way to accept your feelings and get the feeling of grief off of your chest. Find an understanding friend or trusted adult and talk to them about how you feel. It doesn’t have to make sense. It doesn’t have to be embarrassing. The listener does not necessarily have to understand and sympathise with your pain, but the simple act of talking about your grief and sharing your pain will relieve a load.
Don’t blame yourself –
It is common to blame yourself for the loss of a loved one. It is normal to think about what you could have said, or could have done if they were still here. You must remember that you could not have anticipated their leave and that you can’t always tiptoe around people with regards to what you do or what you say, just because you may never meet them again. Thoughts of regret and longing will flood your brain, but you must realize that it’s not your fault that you didn’t. You couldn’t have foreseen the future.
Push yourself to feel better –
Your pain and grief deserve your full attention, for the time it exists. On one hand, you must not ignore your feelings and pretend as if you’re fine, but on the other, don’t spend too long wallowing in your pain. Give yourself time – maybe days weeks, months or even years to feel the pain, and once you’re done feeling it – get over it. It’s easy to feel comfortable with the sadness, but sadness is not productive and in the long run, will harm your life. Know that feeling pain is important, but so is knowing when to let go of it.
Don’t fake happiness–
Showing pain can be a drag. It’s uncomfortable to show people that you aren’t going through the best time. We put these norms of people that we have to feel happy at all times and that’s a very toxic way to live. The popular phrase ‘fake it till you make it’ cannot apply, ever. You shouldn’t have to fake happiness, because that’s tiring, and will eventually take its toll on you.
Let yourself feel happy –
Contrary to the previous point, let yourself feel happy when you think you’re ready. Just because you may think that you should’ve grieved for longer, or that the fact that you got over it too soon, doesn’t make it true. Everyone’s different and the time you take to get over a loss doesn’t have to be the same as everyone else. Don’t feel guilty for being happy and don’t second guess your happiness.