We used to meet every day, share laughs and loved being with each other. I was in a relationship for almost one and a half years, but in the last six months, things weren’t going well, and before I could prepare myself for it, we broke up. Post our break up, the next few weeks were the most painful days of my life. I was entirely broken from inside, unable to speak out and petrified.
After sometime, I realised I had to do something to overcome this dilemma. Alcohol and drugs came to my mind. But I felt that would be stupid, seeking help from liquor. I tried talking about this to my friends but I couldn’t. Being an introvert, it is tough for me to discuss my personal problems with others. So I started writing. Writing about myself, my relationship, about her, the pros and cons of our relationship. Music was the other thing that helped me tide through this phase. All these things do help you, but the habit of being with someone, being in a relationship and breaking that habit is the biggest challenge. I was used to having a female companion who supported me in my hard times and suddenly I was left alone. To overcome this loneliness was tough. I wanted someone to fill that space left by her absence. Then comes the rebound stage when you like a girl and feel like asking her out too. And I was about to make that stupid mistake. Luckily I didn’t. I bought myself a pet; a hamster named Hamster and shared things with him. It was Hamster who taught me to stay calm and love everyone selflessly. In time, the way you look at things in your life changes. You may become soft and caring or stone-hearted. That really depends on how you handle yourself. I am proud of the way I handled myself. The breakup helped me introspect. More importantly, it taught me to express my feelings. The only way to overcome your break up is to share your feelings and speak out. Keeping yourself involved with work also helps. Instead of being sad about your breakup, be happy about the time you spent with your partner; the special moments you shared. Because everyone is not lucky enough to have a partner. Letting go is what really helps us in coping with a breakup.
I could say that dealing with a breakup is easy and that time makes you forget and heals your scars, but that would be a lie. Time may certainly heal the scars, but the memory of it will always be etched in your mind. I know from experience that girls get over heartbreaks faster than guys do. Reason? We have no qualms in crying over it and talking about it. I got over a messy breakup by simply transferring all the hurt onto paper. Writing helped me to deal with my pent up emotions directly. Although, retail therapy and Adele’s brilliant vocals work just as well.
There is no harm in brooding and crying when that’s exactly what you feel like doing. I think shedding a few tears is what helped me lessen all that pain. At that moment, heartbreak surely felt like the end of the world, but I realised later that it’s really not. If things didn’t work out with one person, then that only means that life has some better plans for me.
It took me time, a couple of buckets of ice cream and the support of my best friends to realise that the breakup has in fact, had a positive impact on my life. Heartbreak tests your ability to deal with difficult situations and also makes you a stronger person. My breakup was life’s way of acquainting me with a hidden side of me, which I did not even know existed.
I’ve come to believe that if love is about becoming a better person, then heartbreak is about being a stronger one. To move on though, forgiveness is what is really necessary. To not forgive is to hold on. How can you move on when you are still holding onto all the pain? Forgive, for it costs you nothing.
And whatever you do, don’t ever let heartbreaks dim your faith in love. For without faith in love, your life has no definition. Love is out there. Your heartbreaks are guiding you towards it.
Volume 2 Issue 2