We all turn to our friends for friendly advice whenever a problem arises. Why shouldn’t we? After all, they always hear us out, give the best solutions and make life a little simpler. They are most helpful, especially when you have to crib about how your ‘special someone’ has annoyed you to new levels.
Undoubtedly, it’s completely alright to open up and share things with friends, and they definitely want you to be happy, which is why they will always try to suggest ways to make your life better, but not all advice coming from your friends helps.
We all have a habit of picking up our phones and dialing our friends’ phones to pour our hearts out when things get bad with our boyfriend/girlfriend, and in return get a lot of friendly advice. But remember one thing, friends are not relationship experts. If you take advice that is nothing but pathetic, you might lose one of the best persons in your life. Sometimes, you just have to look for solutions to your relationship problems all by yourself for the simple reasons that you know your partner better than your friends.
Out of the many wrong ‘friendly advice’, we have compiled some of the worst advice you must definitely never take if you want to save your relationship with your partner.
“You deserve so much better. Move on from this relationship”
I am sure you must have got this so many times from your friends, but there are reasons why you chose to be with your partner. Trust those reasons. If you end up believing that you actually deserve someone better, then every time you face issues with a new partner, you will think that you deserve someone even better.
“He/She would do anything to keep you if he/she really loved you. Don’t waste your time”
This sounds really convincing but that doesn’t mean it’s right. Yes, actions do speak louder than words, but sometimes you need to trust words. So if your partner says that he/she loves you, just trust him/her. Maybe there is something else that demands his/her attention for the time being. Sometimes it becomes very important to just simply be understanding about your partner’s situation, even if it’s difficult. If your friends say this to you, they aren’t wrong. Even you might say this to your friends. That’s because we have gotten into a habit of accepting love mostly when its fancy, decorated, grand, cute and i-love-you-to-the-moon-and-back kind of love. Just because a few things aren’t going right doesn’t mean you are wasting your time.
“Don’t act too needy. Don’t double text. Don’t reply for hours and don’t return calls. Let him/her call”
Okay! There is nothing bad in showing love, care, and affection. Just because you show love and reply to texts and calls immediately doesn’t make you look needy. Instead, it just shows your partner that you are attentive and thoughtful. Looking needy, desperate and hungry for love and attention is all in our heads. Everyone loves to be loved, so if you invest a little extra in your partner than he/she does, it is totally fine. Eventually, your partner is going to see it and it will work out for the best. So if you have received this friendly advice, throw it straight in the bin because it is not just incorrect, it is also very immature.
“Check his/her phone if you think something is fishy”
This friendly advice is a complete no-no. Seriously, never do this. If you can’t trust your partner, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place. No sane friends will ever tell you to do this. If they do, well, stop them from saying anything further. Going through your partner’s phone is not only ethically wrong, but it can severely damage your relationship if your partner finds out, leading to distress. Your this act can also make your partner lose trust over you.
“Love is not meant to be this hard. It’s bothering you so much. End this and move on”
Love is not a cakewalk. It demands efforts, compromises, and letting go off a few things. You can’t quit if things don’t go right. Improvement and progress will take time, maybe longer than you think, but hang in. Most of the time it pays off. Love was never easy. It has been difficult in various different forms, but it has been equally beautiful.
Friends are easy to talk to and are the ones who will always extend a helping hand in any situation, however when it comes to asking for relationship advice, you need to be a little careful. They might give you the best advice but it can backfire because they are not the ones who are in a relationship with your partner. You are. So only you know the kind of relationship you share with your partner.