Maybe it’s a trend or maybe a lifestyle, but it is time to bring it out into the lime light! Hook-ups are in demand and it is starting to eliminate the faith people have in real love. Ruhi Gandhi explores reasons as to why we try breaking free from love, commitment and relationships. And without it why do we feel broken?
What’s New in the Trend?
Remember back when dating use to be about going out on a small romantic outings and getting to know each other? Each generation has a different way of living and finding meaning in what they do. That is a part of life. So, in what way has our generation changed? Today, what we see is how ‘hooking up’ has replaced ‘dating’ (so to speak), dating now suddenly seems like people are planning on getting married, and well marriage? It just has an apparent high risk of divorce. Yes, that maybe Trend? slightly exaggerated to prove a point so let’s elaborate.
Too much commitment for dating
At some point most of us have known someone who has discussed marriage with their respective other, cut themselves because of a stupid breakup, or discussed how beautiful their children would look. Now it is great to discuss things and show commitment in that way but not when you are probably around fourteen years old and only three months into the relationship. Dating is exactly that, you don’t need to fall in love forcefully and commit for life. Today, there is no need to mix the commitment required for dating and the one required for a marriage.
Everyone is on a fast track
Everyone has heard someone say “Married life is a burden, there is no freedom”. But with the freedom they just look for other people to date and to get into relationships with. So are we afraid of commitment? Do we rush into it because if we don’t people will talk? Is that all it is? Lately, the kill is before the hunt. In other words, sex before dating and breaking up before trying to working it out. Our generation has lost the meaning of relationships in search for short term gratification.
“In today’s time while having someone by your side is appreciated, dating is just not worth the effort. People change and leave. We get no closure but instead just a lot of hurt. Honestly we aren’t mature enough to even handle it”, said Yash Sampat.
Lack of commitment is the price of independence
There is nothing wrong with fast, but like in all things, sometimes “going fast” forces us to diminish quality. And frankly, the quality of relationships is what matters most. When you really understand each other , you are more likely to be in happy relationships because you know what to expect, and what is expected of you or maybe what you want to create. Having said that, people also seem to forget that playing with emotions is no joke. Suddenly relationships have become like a game, spin once and hope you get lucky but if you don’t? There is always another spin, right? Relationships are not half as hard as they are made out to be, but yes, it is only hard when someone in it isn’t fully committed.
Harsh Chauhan told us how he felt about relationships too: “Sometimes relationships are really love, and other times it’s just lust. When things get tough and decisions are to be made based on sacrifices and conveniences, things start getting rough. Hook-ups seem ideal, no commitment and no emotional attachment.” It is partially about people being afraid to commit. But in today’s generation, with so much pressure, everyone is striving to succeed, and live life on their own terms. So when relationships get messy, hook-ups are just the easiest alternative to both satisfy longing and the need for connection.
Is hope dying?
“Relationships are hardly treasured anymore. People don’t take marriages seriously either! My friend got married last year, had a kid, and then got divorced. If you can’t give your hundred percent in a relationship you shouldn’t be in one at all, and honestly with the changes in the world and the economy, no one finds time anymore to love since they are too busy with work,” said Himanthi Amarasinghe.
So yes, hope is dying for true love and genuine commitment, but Muskaan Israni had something different to say when asked about her preference between hooking up and relationships, “Hooking up may seem easier, but I think relationships are more worth it. Yes, I have been in a relationships that seemed to be going nowhere, but now I am with someone who I’m glad to be able to share my life with. There should be signs all around the city saying ‘Fall in Love, Please’ because it is just beautiful.” Maybe, the hope isn’t dying out. You may have all the success in the world, but if you have no one to share it with, have you really achieved?