CAREER DECISIONS
I have always been guided by other people around me, especially by my parents. Now is a peak time for me to take decisions regarding my career. And I have no idea what would be good for me or what directions I should head.
Now is your time to get absolute clarity on what you want because if you don’t, you will always be living on everyone else’s agendas.
I hate the question “what do you want to be?” because it makes it sound like success is far away, so I have 3 steps for you:
Step 1: What do you want in a career?
Don’t think about what the career is or the job or position, but only about the experiences you want from a job or career.
Do you want to travel a lot? Meet new people all the time? Do you want to make a lot of money? Do you want to make a difference? If so, in what way?
Now look at what careers or jobs are out there that will give you those things and target them.
Step 2: How will getting this job make you feel emotionally?
Everything we do is to feel something. Even if you want lots of money, what you really want is the feeling associated with lots of money – Significance? Comfort? Pride? Be clear on why you want what you want; will give you the emotional fuel, the drive to go after the career you want.
Step 3: Take action! Stop worrying about making the perfect choice. Just do it! Take action!
The average person changes career (not jobs) four times! It’s OK if you change directions, just commit to one direction now and move forward. So step up, know that all the answers you need are in you and take action.
Get up from your computer right now, get clear on what you want, why you want it and take action NOW! And then send me a picture from your first day on the job.
PERFECTIONIST
I want to be perfect in everything. Be it academics, sports, as an entertainer and socially around people. What should I do?
You are setting yourself up to lose. But don’t worry, you are not alone! Most people “try to be perfect”, only to realize that’s not possible. Don’t believe me? Right now try and pick up a bottle. Go on try and pick it up. You can’t do it. You either pick it up or you don’t pick it up. There is no trying. The brain doesn’t hear trying. It either hears “do” or “do not”. Think of it like a command you are giving to a computer. You don’t press “try to delete”. You either delete something or you don’t.
And perfection is the lowest standard because it is not possible. There will always be a “gap” in your life whether it be work, health, relationships, socially – and that “gap” isn’t bad. It gives us something to focus on, something to improve. Happiness in life is not about trying to be perfect – the perfect friend, the perfect son/daughter, the perfect Facebook friend! It’s about knowing you are giving 100% every day and giving the best of yourself – whether that be academically, with your family, friends or in sports.
I’ve had the honor of coaching winning sports teams and the ones that win it all aren’t worried about being perfect. They give their best and know that if they make small improvements every day, the results will take care of themselves.
OF INTENT AND TRUST
I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me. At times, I wonder why he won’t listen to me. When I call him, he takes a while to call me back. And when confronted he says sorry, but makes the same mistake again. I know he loves me, but I’m still confused.
Don’t worry, this is typical in relationships. Remember the golden rule in every relationship: “Never question someone’s intent.” You can question their behavior, but never their intent. Know at his core, your boyfriend loves you and wants to make you happy. When you question someone’s intent, you damage the relationship and weaken the trust. The key is to separate the person from his behavior. Everything that we do in life is to either gain pleasure or avoid pain. So when your boyfriend is late in calling you, and you respond by screaming at him, you are linking pain to the act of calling you. When he wants to call you, his brain will remember the pain and will do anything to avoid it. This means he will take even longer to call you the next time! The solution is to link pleasure to calling you, to reward him for the behavior you want and not blame him for the behavior you don’t want. If you can reinforce that feeling in him you will have him hooked for life. And if that doesn’t work, send him to me!
Volume 1 Issue 12
