It has been over a century since the movement for women began and the International Women’s Day was commemorated. Yet, today I am filled with agony over the issues which are still prevalent around the world that make it to my Facebook timeline and newspapers every single day.
I have been trying my entire life to ignore this, but each day slams this very hard truth in my face – that I am a woman. I was the second daughter born in a middle-class family who wanted a son. My grandparents cried with me as I, a girl, came into this world. Thankfully, my parents were of a progressive mindset and did not succumb to the way things were supposed to be for a girl child. They raised me like a son. My individuality was celebrated, but it was during my student days at an engineering college that I started getting aware of the fact that I have a different body. It went to the extent that I was told how I should wear my dupatta. The fact that I wore my watch on the right hand, instead of the left, became an issue. I went on to become good friends with many individuals of the other sex and I was immediately labelled as someone who is sleeping around. In a culture where the ideal path for women is to get education, prepare them for marriage, to tend a house and raise a family, anything that you do out of track gives rise to numerous insinuations. Ours is definitely a patriarchal society, but here too you will mostly find women against women than men.
Growing up a liberal household isn’t enough. It is only when I grew up that I realized that the world outside is so different. I had been a tom boy in my teens, and in some ways, I still am, but the very perception has changed – not only with others, but also me. I am constantly trying to defend myself and my attitude. For example, I got my hair coloured when I turned 24. Since then, I kept trying to avoid the piercing eyes of men and women who instantly assume me to be someone with a loose character. Therein begins the internal conflict between what is right and what is supposed to be wrong in this conformist society. I have to think twice before wearing my favourite pair of shorts for a casual evening walk lest I be molested. I even have to wear appropriately covered clothes in my flat because there are guys staying next door and it would be considered an alleged invitation of some sort.
What wrong have I done? Is it only because I am a woman, born in a man’s world? Should I be like Draupadi, whose husband bet her in a game of dice or Sita, who had to give ‘Agni Pariksha’ to prove her purity to her husband? Should I be the damsel in distress waiting to be saved by my price charming? Should I hear from others on how I should wear my dupatta or what job I should choose?
The ‘#TimesUp’ and ‘#MeToo’ movements along with several stories of women uprising from around the world make me believe that there is still hope. They instill in me the faith that I am more than my gender, my sex and my body. I am more than a daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, a wife and a mother. I am an individual human being and will continue being so with courage, dignity and love for myself and others. I will also be the voice that will inspire your mothers, sisters, girlfriends and wives to become human beings first. I will destroy the glorified projection of a woman who sacrifices her needs, the image of a woman as a submissive, all-giving nurturer who is a victim of this society. I am the woman who embraces her needs, an individual who is unabashed in accepting her desires. I will pay my own bills and open doors for myself, thank you. I will roam and loiter as I please. I will travel the world and wear what I want.
