If you’re startled by what you just read, which is the headline opening the article, you’re not alone. Hearing and listening are used almost interchangeably in common parlance. Let’s be honest, a lot of us do it without knowing where we go wrong. To begin with, ‘Hearing’ is a sensory ability, meaning, this remains unaffected as long as our senses are in place. Any sound within our range of hearing, we hear.
Listening, on the other hand, begins with hearing but doesn’t end there. It takes place in stages where a message is first sent to the receiver, who then comprehends or makes meaning out of it. After understanding, comes storing and processing of this information, and later helps them recall or remember it. The listener then evaluates and assesses the statement and its implication to the best of their abilities. Then comes the interpretation or inference, where the listener could agree, disagree, or form an indifferent stance, either of which leads them towards a conclusion. The final step is a reply. The absence of it reduces the said material to a monologue and hearing is where the process stops at. A response is crucial, verbal, or non-verbal, to mark the end of it. Feedback could also arrive in the form of a counter-question.
Ideally, listening should take place according to the stages, but a premature response often shows up as well. When enthusiasm or impatience manifests itself as an attempt to seek attention, listeners end up interrupting without waiting for their turn, perhaps more than once. When anger results in a lack of patience, a listener could cut the speaker off midway. Add to that a sense of suspicion, which would surely make them second-guess what they hear or, worse, doubt the speaker’s intentions. A genuine confusion on listeners’ part can lead to a query as they seek to clarify any doubts they’re faced with. What happens when we begin listening but our minds are distracted, too tired or overly preoccupied? We don’t reach the end of the process as we should. But the first three stages of receiving the codes, understanding, and remembering have taken place by default, even when a premature response is made.
Each of us has different styles of listening, dependent on various factors. Read through to learn more. You could pick out the one that you think matches you. The person- or people-oriented style is centred around a personal preference for someone who their listener connects with, maybe due to the way they speak. Out of trust grows this loyalty or a friendly bias, as they’re seen as relatable. Hence, it is more of a choice regarding the person than the content. For instance, among friends/family/acquaintances, there are some people who we take a liking to, maybe because there’s a kind of reliability we associate with them. The aforementioned style works out similarly.
The time-oriented style focuses on the point of conversation, and the topic it revolves around. Such listeners don’t care much for pleasantries or exchanges not pertaining to the subject. Hurrying, in this case, could be attributed to any timed assignments or deadlines they might have. So, they try to get it over with sooner. When working with others, even then, they may not prefer beating around the bush as they’re more likely to cut to the chase.
The action-oriented style places more importance on the speaker’s actions, non-verbal gestures or body language, and mannerisms than the skills they possess. For instance, an academically brilliant person turns up late for an interview or isn’t suitably dressed. Their merit or talent won’t come to their rescue then. Similarly, turning up at a business meeting without being appropriately dressed for the occasion leaves the wrong impression. Since actions speak louder than words, their skills won’t come to light immediately, or they won’t be evaluated accurately.
The content-oriented style, as the name suggests, deals with the content being spoken about. Appearance/attire rarely impedes the process. It’s the accuracy/relevance of what the speaker says that aims to hold the listeners’ attention, making them overlook the rest. Speech becomes the only lookout.
Practical listening is characterised by a few steps, making it a cut above the rest. Primarily, there should be an intention to grasp the subject. This target or sense of priority is what lends an honest character to our ears. Although intent alone isn’t enough, the lack of it is worse especially when replaced with a pretentious act, even if it is out of politeness.
Listening is as behavioural as cognitive since focus makes all the difference. To memorise and evaluate to full capacity is key to its effectiveness. A tendency to interrupt, jump to conclusions, and an overenthusiastic attitude, are signs of impatience. Rushing through it opens the possibility of misjudging the speaker. Hence, the right intention should be carried forward with calm concentration and a correct understanding of the content.
Remembering should be long enough to leave an impact. While everyone’s attention span varies, so does their capacity of retention. It is upon us to consider it and adopt measures to improve its quality. Of course, the purpose matters. For academic or business reasons, for official work, it is even more essential to not leave it at the verbal level. Of course, the final call is made based on how far there is a need to remember. Taking notes, and jotting down the key points can act as the eventual lifesaver when the same material needs revisiting later.
Why would this be called practical? As individuals who spend most of our time around people, dealing with spoken words, deciphering the same in personal/professional lives, it calls for competence, to do better and keep improving such that we benefit as well as those we’re in association with. Merely knowing the steps isn’t enough. It’s only practical that we apply them to stand out from countless others who participate in the same process without truly engaging in it. Let’s be the listener we know we’re capable of becoming, shall we?
