Your resume presents who you are to your employers and is the most important aspect of written communication while working. Make sure you don’t send out the wrong message with these resume bloopers!
COOKING NATIONALITIES
Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
ACCIDENTALLY INSURED!
“Job involved…counselling clientele on accidental insurance policies available.”
GARDENING PEOPLE?
“2001 Summer: Voluntary work, taking care of the elderly and vegetable people.”
SHUT ME AWAY!
“I’m intrested to hear more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer.”
FUTURE HOPES
“I am about to enrol for a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE
“Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with.”
CLIMBING A WEAK LADDER
“I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force. My school advised me to fix my punctuality…”
PARTY HARD!
Hobbies: “Having a good time.”
SKY HIGH!
“Working at **** airline, I gained experience managing cabin crew in a pressurised environment.”
QUALITY CONTROL
“A marketing professional with a ‘never settle for the best’ attitude.”
SOMETHING MISSING
“Analytical & Problem Solving Skills: As a child, I always enjoyed building jigsaw puzzles and was always determined to find the missing piece.”
SOCK ORGANISER
“Please note from my CV I have 6 years buying and negotiating and Sock-Control experience.”
SWIMMING IN…?!
“My hobbies include regular attendance at my local gym and swimming poo.”
FACIAL TALK!
“I hope to have some facial conversation with you at your convenience, so that I can furnish you with detailed information about myself.”
DEADLY DEVELOPMENT
On a web developer’s resume: “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
THE POOR ANIMAL!
“Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse.”
SEARCHING FOR OPTIMISATION
Skills: “Search Engine Manipulation”
ALL GROWN UP!
“For the past 3 months I have also been living at home with my brother as my parents have gone on holiday for 3 months as a retirement presents. I believe this experience has matured me as a person, as I have had to look after the house, shop and generally do a lot more tasks for myself. This has given me a new outlook on life and what I want to do with my life in the future.”
ALL HAIL THE KING
“Ares of Interest: I have craze of game programming because they are called the king of programmers and I want to be the king.”
DYNAMIC SOUL
“Interests and hobbies: none at present”
THREE SECOND MEMORY
“I have a wide variety of skills and experience, some of which I have taken for granted and cannot readily recall. If considered for employment, I believe I will be an asset to your reputable organisation.”
BOYS WILL BE BOYS
“Hobbies: Playing with Boy Scouts”
SHIFTY BUSINESS
“Promoted to Shit Leader and responsible for a team of Engineers.”
Read more at: http://resumehell.blogspot.com/
Volume 1 Issue 6
