2015's Wackiest Resolutions!

Youth Inc’s interns take a humorous look at the top 10 New Year’s resolutions that will make you ROTFL!

It’s that time of the year again when we all draw up a long and arduous list of New Year’s resolutions. Each and every one of us has some resolutions set for the upcoming year, but fulfilling them is a whole other matter. We hate to be the ones to burst your bubble, but a New Year’s resolution is just an excuse to say you’ll do something in the coming year so that you can make yourself feel better for a short while. After all, New Year’s is the ultimate Monday for the procrastinating ‘I’ll start from Monday’ crowd. Reality check: If you actually want something, you don’t wait till eternity for it; you go ahead and do it!
So, we have resolved to come up with a list of the wackiest resolutions for 2015 that you can LOL at all year. (Isn’t it high time all of us stop resolving to make lame New Year’s resolutions?)

10 GET FIT OR GET POOR TRYING!

Haven’t all of us have at some point in our lives said something along the lines of ‘I’ll stay fit by going to gym this year onwards and look slim and gorgeous’. Probably, that’s the only reason gyms make so much money. You pay for a service that you never end up using!

9 I’LL STOP USING MONTHLY FREE TRIAL VERSIONS OF SOFTWARES TILL THE 29TH DAY; DELETE IT AND DOWNLOAD IT AGAIN ON THE 30TH DAY! 

Haven’t we all done this? We all confess that we have done this at some point in our lives as well. But, this year there’s a voice in the back of our heads saying, ‘I promise to actually purchase the software from this year onwards, NOT!’

8 I’LL AVOID USING FACEBOOK AND WHATSAPP TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY PARENTS AND TALK TO THEM INSTEAD!  

You’re late? Send a quick text message to mom. Liked that watch at the mall so much that you want to buy it? Snapchat it to your Dad. Why can’t we just spare some time from our laidback lives and spend it with them in person instead?!

7 I’LL TRY NOT TO FAKE HOW COOL MY FRIEND’S PARTY WAS!

Just because you uploaded some glamorous pictures on Instagram and added an irrelevant string of hash tags, it doesn’t make it the coolest party of the year. Although, it might be the best way to flaunt your social life and make your friends jealous, it really isn’t all that cool if you think about it.

6 I’LL SAVE WATER AND CONTRIBUTE TO THE WORLD BY NOT WASHING CLOTHES AND USING MORE DEODORANT!

This is one of the laziest resolutions of all. Just because you make it sound like a noble intention, doesn’t actually mean that it is one. One can’t help but admit that this is the lamest thing one can ever resolve to do. (Fun Fact: Did you know that the presence of chloro-flouro carbons in the environment is more detrimental to it than scarcity of water? Yes. Get your facts right, cartoon!)

5 I WILL STOP TAGGING MY FRIENDS IN MY SELFIES!

You get a notification from Facebook and open it only to find a picture you’ve been tagged in. That’s when you find yet another string of irrelevant hash tags (just like in the previous resolution). But, what’s ironic is that you weren’t in the picture in the first place! It makes you wonder when people will finally realise that it’s actually irritating to get tagged in somebody else’s selfie!

4 I’LL ENJOY MY MEALS WITHOUT POSTING A LIVE FEED ON INSTAGRAM! 

You visited a coffee shop and a picture of your cold coffee goes up on Instagram the moment it arrives at your table. Some people just can’t start their meal unless they take a picture of their food to make it known to the world that they have been to the fanciest restaurants and bars in the city. Pause, take a deep breath and savour the moment with your loved ones instead of giving fodder to stalkers by only adding to your digital footprint.

3 I’LL THINK OF BETTER EXCUSES TO GIVE TO MY BOSS FOR LEAVES!

This is the one resolution that all employees and interns can relate to! When you’re coming up with an excuse to give to your boss, you also prepare yourself for all the questions he is going to shoot at you. But you do realise that your boss sees right through you when you give those excuses, right? That’s because your colleagues have probably ended up giving the same excuses that you did. It’s time to get creative with your excuses this year!

2 I WILL LEARN NEW LANGUAGES… (TO IMPRESS THE OPPOSITE SEX)!

Gone are the days when we learnt new languages so that we could explore new cultures or get into a top foreign university. Nowadays, we learn new languages only to impress people in our social circles. It’s high time we get our priorities straight, no?

1 I WILL NOT FORGET MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS BY THE END OF JANUARY!

A new resolution for the New Year sounds perfect, right? But how many of us get down to really fulfilling our New Year’s resolutions? So why come up with impractical ones in the first place? The best New Year’s resolutions are the ones that are aligned with the changes you truly want to make in your life. So get your thinking cap on, and make some positive changes in your life instead. Have a wacky and happy new year!

Volume 4 Issue 7