Things not to say to a woman
Honestly, when it comes down to it, you should just keep your trap shut. Women will ask you cleverly concealed questions, designed for your downfall. When you sense a question like this, don’t say anything. Don’t do it. Just don’t. However, you’re a slick little schmuck and you just have to say something, so, for your own safety, keep these in mind.
“Yes, that dress does make you look fat, just a little. Have something else?” You will know what it feels like when a tornado hits home.
“No, I don’t have any plans tomorrow night.” You’ll find yourself swamped by her extended family.
“I DON’T FEEL LIKE GOING OUT TONIGHT.”
YOU WILL BE TREATED TO DOOR SLAMMING AND THE OCCASIONAL STILETTO AIMED AT YOUR HEAD.
“YOUR GREAT AUNTIE ENID, HER HANDS TEND TO WANDER, DON’T THEY?” YOU WILL BE ATTACKED WITH LEFTOVER MASHED POTATOES.
“I DON’T WANT TO MEET YOUR MOTHER.”
SHE WILL MAKE YOU CRY.
“I don’t like the redecoration.” She might just strip everything bare and leave you out in the cold to fend for yourself.
Blunder Years
Volume 2 Issue 9
