SEEING AS THE INTERNET SEEMS TO FUNCTION IN THE HARDEST OF CONDITIONS (INTERNET CONNECTIONS, HOWEVER, NOT SO MUCH), IT IS SAFE TO SAY MEMES AND VIRAL VIDEOS (AND LIST-BASED ARTICLES, LIKE THIS ONE) WILL STILL BE CIRCULATING FOR COMIC RELIEF.
PREDICTIONS FOR 2013
It’s December 2012. This time last year, the world was going crazy about how the world was going to end. Funny how there’s not a peep at the moment.
Anyhow, in 2013, life will have to go on, people will have to go to work/college, the rain will fall, the sun will shine, ducks will quack, pigeons will poop. Here are some predictions for the average day in 2013.
THE WATER SUPPLY MAY NOT BE FUNCTIONING AFTER THE APOCALYPSE. THIS SHOULD NOT MATTER, AS PERSONAL HYGIENE WILL NOT BE IMPERATIVE ANYMORE. ANYWAY, YOU LIVE IN INDIA, SO YOU SHOULD BE USED TO WATER CUTS.
When you wake up, you will first check whether or not your mother has turned into a zombie. If she has, you will either have to kill her or run for your life. Base this decision on the pocket money you received in happier times
WHEN CATCHING A RICKSHAW, YOU WILL HAVE TO MAKE SURE THE DRIVER IS NOT A ZOMBIE. ON THE UPSIDE, IF HE IS, HE WILL MOST PROBABLY NOT CHARGE YOU EXTRA. HE MIGHT NOT EVEN REMEMBER THAT THE MINIMUM IS RS. 15 AND NOT RS. 11 ANY MORE; NOT ALL ZOMBIES COME WITH BRAINS.
YOU WILL SLEEP WITH A BASEBALL BAT BESIDE YOU. FORGET GIRLFRIENDS AND BOYFRIENDS. THE BAT WILL NOT WAKE UP ONE FINE DAY AND WANT TO SAMPLE YOUR BRAIN.
You will have to watch Zombieland religiously. When you do, take notes. Put them up on your bedroom wall if you still have one. If you do, let me come live with you.
Crowded locations (malls, trains, fish markets) will be even more painful than they are now. Be prepared to sacrifice a limb, or a friend, if you venture into one. Do not spend time mourning said limb or friend.
Volume 2 Issue 6
