Porters Of Lessons Needed To Raise Boys

From the phrase ‘Men don’t cry’ to ‘Are you wearing bangles in your hand?’ and many more. There has always been a prejudice affixed for boys in India. The ancient notions are knocking a need to undergo reformation. Just like myriad endeavours were made to wipe out the social taboos from the community, there is a need to wipe out the gender taboos from the community. The spearhead of gender taboos is the fervent belief in certain notions while we raise boys. Boys in India are not weighed on the scales of Sanskaar as much as girls. Indians are inclined towards the fact that protecting a girl from the vile-intended society is a ‘Herculean task’ but they barely pay attention to the fact that if boys are carved in a way that they wear the lenses of decency then this devilish filth in a society will be wiped out. The other filths in society include – Domestic violence, imbalance in domestic households, oversight of males towards the non-monetary needs of the kids, and many more are needed to be reformed. The fact that tears are acceptable in the eyes of a female and not of a male is again outstripping the illogical zone. Pain can be inflicted on anyone’s heart as it is not gender-biased and hence it can trigger the formation of tears in anyone, so what’s the point of fabricating the laws of nature? If we will stop levelling up the status of males from their tender age then they will not be stimulated to act as a ‘Mightier’ gender in society. Hence, raising boys is a replete field to study.

To let the creeper grow in a desired direction we mould its offshoot in that direction only. Akin to this, if you are coveted to see males not abiding by irrational prejudices then we need to raise them in a way from childhood. There are many areas to pay heed to while we raise boys in India, which include:

Parents need to be vigilant about the activities of the boys. Thinking that they are males and so less vulnerable in society is a first step to valorising their gender illogically. The outlines of ethics must be fenced around everyone irrespective of gender. Allowing the boys to stay outdoors at odd hours is another area of ignorance that needs to be enlightened. What are their activities when they are in a social gathering and how they are handling their terms with females should be the point of concern. It is implausible to see that in childhood the notoriety of a boy towards a girl is perceived as an act of amusement by the family, while the same act repeated in adulthood is scorned by the family. This contradiction needs to be mitigated. If they will be trained from childhood to be respectful of female fellows and to hold a decent gaze for them it would be easy to keep the boys on the right track and thus, we will get a direction to raise boys.

It is truly said that a good company inbuilt good seeds. The people with whom they are hanging is another point of concern. Usually, parents are unfazed when it comes to the boys’ groups. They are not usually stopped by their parents while intermingling in a community. If their fellows with whom they are spending ample time are analyzed then their parents will not be unaware of the unhealthy environment that might entangle their kids. At the apt time, the trappings of lessons will be given by the parents. Since, from generation to generation the right timings to give the right lesson varies, staying updated about the circle of the kid will direct the parents. This is a pavement to raise boys as companions can throw cold water on our teachings so keeping a check on them is necessary.

The interests of a person are influenced by the mindset he has framed. Interests further empower and embolden a person to opt for an approach to lead a life. It is necessary to keep an eye out for the interests of a kid. If a boy is adamant to play certain devastating games, often parents neglect this as they think it is masculinity aspired. To yield a habit of benevolence while we raise boys it is pivotal to unwelcome the interest that is shaping him into a violent person. If you see, a boy indulged in playing games revolving around household activities like fun cooking, fun cleaning, fun laundry etc, then diverting them to play such games is not a wise-man approach. Household chores are not a zone earmarked for females merely. It is a human need and if males also need this, they can also participate in these activities.

This is a grave concern that we need to mull while we raise boys. We have observed that a male-dominated society has been formed. But no page of psychology declares women as less wise compared to males. The family is helmed by both a mother and a father and deeming the father as the sole decision-maker belittles the presence of a woman. This is aped by their children also. Teach boys that consent is useful when it is sought on a mutual basis. Consent of intercourse, consent of taking household decisions, consent before touching, consent before sharing any image, etc. Boys, if taught about the functions of consent, are less prone to go astray and become the culprits of any kind of harassment. Consent stands for validation for all genders.