Youth Incorporated Magazine

Currently, an increasing number of youths are seen undergoing immense distress, disappointment and disillusionment. They are often seen cribbing and crying for various things that didn’t happen to go the way they wanted them to. We need to understand that it is okay. We must know how to accept and deal with disappointment.

Nisha JamVwal shares her thoughts on surviving disappointment

“Poetry and light come from challenging situations. If I had an ordinary life I’d be an ordinary person I know it’ll be ok But I’ll be smarter and deeper! Disillusionment is ok – many humans are flawed – very few are exceptional, which is why they are exceptions.”

Yes, I know when we go through hell and back, it does not feel like the time to hear philosophy. We feel terrible and nothing anyone might learnedly espouse works. Well, nearly. Life seems awful and you feel like socking anyone who decides to be all holier than thou giving you all their lofty advice. Don’t bop me on the head if I say that it’s like school. We come into the world to grow and become better human beings and we go through much trial and tribulation to slap us into shape so to speak. This is my strong theory. Now whether you believe me or not you must admit it makes sense?

Learning from the bad

Indian philosophy says you come to the world empty-handed and leave empty-handed as well, assuming of course that there is a soul that outlasts it all and is forever. There is no proof for any of this, but we have to go with gut feeling. My instinct through life has been that when sh*t hits the ceiling then there is some major learning I’ve had from it. Or when a relationship turns sour then there is something to be learnt from it and something better waiting right around the corner. That said, I have to confide that it’s usually been the case that something better has happened immediately after, not even too far in the future. Fabulous, isn’t it? If we go to the gym to work out our muscles, then we live life and work out our soul through the rapids and troughs to enrich and strengthen the soul.

Even at a practical level, the wisdom, knowledge and bandwidth one accumulates with hardship, experience and emotional trauma is invaluable. You just know how to deal with life than be an ignorant milk-sop who was sheltered and thought life was about designer shoes and first-class air travel.

Don’t take life for granted

Natural calamity like landslides, storm, tsunamis teach us all that life is fragile and anything can happen any time, anywhere. We tend to easily forget the temporal nature of existence and how in the flickering of an eye we can lose parents’, friends, friendships, material possessions and go from prince to pauper or from a having a big, loving family to solitude and loss. For some reason, I can’t explain the transitory nature of life. It never escapes me; how fragile human life is and how much we take it and the ones we love for granted. The sooner we realise how precious a gift every special relationship and every healthy second is, is the moment we will exult in every living second and also have more humility and tolerance. It’s this very ephemeral nature of existence that might even teach us to be grateful for what we’ve got, for a change. Think about it, life is indeed transient. Even we have limited time here and the sooner we value it all and celebrate it the happier we will be.

Experiences will make one better

So here’s how I think it works and I do believe Shakespeare would agree – we are all here to up our game, learn the ropes, become wise, experience experiences, learn right from wrong after committing both good and bad, experiencing everything and going through myriad scenarios – because only when we go through it all, the good, the bad and the ugly can we become wise, learn, understand, grow and metamorphose.

It was Shakespeare who had said

“All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; they have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms. Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel and shining morning face, creeping like snail unwillingly to school. And then the lover, sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier, full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice, in fair round belly with good capon lined, with eyes severe and beard of formal cut, full of wise saws and modern instances; and so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts into the lean and slippered pantaloon, with spectacles on nose and pouch on side; his youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide for his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice, turning again toward childish treble, pipes and whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere oblivion, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”