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What to do if You’re single on the 14th of February

It’s February again. I have nothing against February. February is an innocent little month. The 14th of which I want to crush under the heel of the new shoes I bought because I didn’t spend the money on flowers or chocolates or ridiculously cheesy mix CDs to be tossed at some love-struck moron. Here are some more evil things you can do if you don’t have your strings tied this Singles’ Awareness Day.

Steal your honeymoon-phased friend’s chocolates. They’ll be so busy mooning at their significant other they probably won’t even notice.

Run madly across campus, poke people in the ribs and yell “CUPID ATTACK!”
Bonus points for wearing angel wings, boxers and nothing else.

Earn brownie points with your mother by giving her a bouquet of flowers. Hope it will make her forget the time you stumbled home at 3 am.

Use the opportunity to get your one direction fix. nobody will judge you at the counter.

Spread the love. Gift lingerie/boxers with large red hearts on them to your friends. Make sure you run fast and dodge flying objects well.

If you see a couple walking with bulbous, heart shaped balloons, run up to them, pop as many as you can and run away.

This column is brought to you by Laugh Out Loud – The Indian Humour Brand

 

 

Volume 2 Issue 8