Delaying gratification – Do discipline and self-control still have a role in our personal lives?

There are a lot of benefits to delaying gratification. In simpler words, if we study now or if we work hard now, then there won’t be any regrets in the future. However, students from across India get a sinking feeling in their stomach called anxiety, right before their exams. This anxiety makes them feel sick, which makes remembering things even tougher and mind-consuming. It is thus, that students revert to memorizing instead of really understanding what is going on with their education. We are given a carrot-stick dangling infront of us and we are expected to keep going from one class to another. Work ethic is only present in a handful of students, who are killing themselves working hard for that 0.5-0.8% advantage.

This is where the concept of delayed gratification comes in.

In 1960, a Stanford professor Walter Mischel created an interesting experiment. He was the grandfather of delayed gratification and wanted to work on this field further. So he invited hundreds of children to his testing center, and thus created the Marshmallow experiment.

Marshmallows are tasty and sweet candies that are loved by children across the world. The scientist would bring the kids into the room and present a marshmallow infront of them. He told the kids that if they waited for 10 minutes they would get two marshmallows, but they were free to eat the first one anyway.

Some kids were visibly upset and agitated at this, and ate the marshmallow instantly within seconds. Others waited for 5 minutes and couldn’t wait any longer. Most kids couldn’t wait for 10 minutes and thus failed the experiment. They wanted that instant gratification. A handful of kids could wait for 10-15 minutes and finally got two marshmallows. These kids went on to have healthier and happier lives, making more money than those who couldn’t wait for that 10-minute mark.

Such is the power of delaying gratification!

When we feel emotional about getting something at that particular time, we need to tap into our cooler, calmer selves to be able to delay the feeling of that thing and what it means to us. In other words, we all need to learn to draw the line between what we want and what we need.

Warren Buffet is a huge fan of the philosophy of delayed gratification. He rarely spends money on fancy cars or houses, and treats his money as an asset rather than a utility. He wants to make more and invest more, while saving all that he can. He reads 5 hours a day, and works 15-hour days on a typical day. Warren Buffet doesn’t think he could have managed to succeed if he had simply spent all his money, the first day he earned it.

That’s why most people aren’t Warren Buffet, but shoppers and eating-out enthusiasts who spend their salary within 15 days itself. You need to save, and delay the gratification of shopping, eating out or expensive clothes until you can stand on your two feet. This applies to work as well.

How often do we take a break from studies or work and check out Facebook or Instagram? We just want to avoid what we’re doing and not really focus on our self-development. We also have a confidence in our ability that nothing will go wrong, until we realize that our laziness has lead us astray. It is this very thing that we want to avoid in the first place. We want to continuously work hard and pursue our dreams, and delay the gratification of safety, or a treat, or a distraction. Everybody wants to go out and have a great time, but few people can wake up at 6 am to work at 7am. Few people go for a long jog in the evening as their health deteriorates. We need to unlock the power of delayed gratification.

Mastercard’s CEO Ajay Banga has an interesting take on delayed gratification and self-control. He believes that he needs to finish tasks quickly and not lose focus on the bigger picture. He jokingly said, in a recent interview with IIM-A students –

“Today’s world of rapidly-advancing technology and ever-shortening innovation cycles have no space for procrastination. It’s that urgency that makes me say to colleagues in my company that “if you have good news for me, take the stairs. If you have bad news, take the elevator.” I need that information fast, so I can do something about it.”

What he means is that he wants to face challenges and delay good news until later in the day. That way, he’s able to focus on the tasks at hand and create growth that’s unparalleled in the industry.

Sundar Pichai (Google CEO) who’s himself from IIT-K had an interesting take on delayed gratification. He believes that because he worked hard and created a reputation for himself, he was able to create multi-fold value through his hard work. In other words, his hard work didn’t pay off in 1:1 ratios, but 2:1 and 3:1 ratios as he continued to work harder.