What I Think of Annoying People on the Internet

Nathaniel Rodrigues vents about asinine personalities plaguing the internet today

Overly deep people are a breed that I, for one, do not understand. They are usually found in cold, dry places ranting about the grave miseries of life. They are known to have a keen eye and click the most beautiful, simplistic pictures, which they ruin with nonsensical quotes about love and life’s challenges; it’s a bit depressing if you ask me.

The hashtaggers are the people you’d want to hammer when you’re high. Instagram is where they spend most of their time trying to outdo each other. Basically they’re trying to say “I eat and travel more than you do.” An average person’s caption reads, “Fun with friends at the #Beach.” That’s it! It’s simple and sweet. For Hashtaggers however, simplicity is too mainstream, so they go, “#holiday #fun #beach #sand #sunny #tan #friends #funtimeswithfriends #funtimeswithfriendsinthesand #nofilter #tagsforlikes, #tigers #lovethem.” OMG! Someone get them help, now!

*Rahul MUFC Shah wants to be friends on Facebook* with a picture of Robin Van Persie as his display picture. I get it; all of us do have pseudonyms, clan names, fantasy or roleplayer games, etc. But please don’t go posing as someone else unless you’re capable of actually making an impression. Batman could be anyone, but everyone isn’t Batman.

The next species are the attention seekers. They usually are the ones who keep posting selfies taken in every mirror of every place they visit, and caption them with a trail of hashtags or totally unrelated captions like song lyrics or quotes by Marliyn Monroe (Yeah right! What a great role-model she was).