Are you one of the millions battling the impossible longdistance relationship? Lovers worldwide fear this long-lost battle; few soldier up and stick on, a number of them are left wounded and many decide the battle is not for them. For the new ‘geographic singles’ and veteran ‘commuter lovers’, there is an ongoing regimen of wobbly patience, gut-checks and rickety commitment. From the ‘geographically single’ status to the ‘kingdom of singledom’, the outcome may not be pretty but the journey is thrilling.up and stick on, a number of them are left wounded and many decide the battle is not for them. For the new ‘geographic singles’ and veteran ‘commuter lovers’, there is an ongoing regimen of wobbly patience, gut-checks and rickety commitment. From the ‘geographically single’ status to the ‘kingdom of singledom’, the outcome may not be pretty but the journey is thrilling.
Online roses have an expiry date:
You can’t be in a stale longdistance relationship forever. So get real and discuss realistic timeframes with your significant other. Re-reading cheesy e-mails and exts can get old; there are lot more fishes in the tank. So invest your precious time with that special somebody. Figure out holidays, timings to speak on the phone, Skype and BBM. With the world becoming global, there are numerous ways to be in touch; but you need to want to. Try techno- loveology with steamy phone talk, sexy photos and videos. It works to keep the passion alive but this too has a shelf life. Beyond a point, there’s nothing like the real thing.
Communicate:
This is one of the most essential factors in the LDR. With different time zones, friends that you have not met, sexy study or work partners and even co-ed dorms can cause angst in your relationship. The most trivial things like not saying ‘I love you’ in the right tone can lead to the person on the other side becoming a crazed lunatic. You must understand that your partner is not here; therefore, sometimes you need to be the bigger person and explain situations without losing your temper or your mind.
Age of the two individuals:
The younger you are …Sorry! It’s probably just not going to work out. For the under-25s who have just found out that they have hormones and that others on the planet do too, while your gf/bf is sitting far away…well then don’t make us say we told you so!
Number of years to the relationship:
If you went out and met this amazing boy and found out that he is leaving in a month or vice versa, you will have the best month of your life. Intense will not even begin to describe it, with passion so heady that no narcotics can compare! Both partners will be eagerly trying to impress each other, making sure that they leave behind a deep, lasting imprint so that their love can and will last out till the next meeting (whenever that may be). But please don’t print the marriage cards just yet; sooner or later, reality does strike.
On the other hand, if you started dating each other since class 5 when you used to hold hands and wipe snot on each other and you’ve lasted out till your college days, then the blinkers are permanently fixed on for life. Congrats! So happily kiss each other good-bye and enjoy the time out…if you can!
Insecurities:
This is the most deadly reason why things fall apart. It slowly rears its ugly head, so small and guileless at first that we barely notice it, and even if we do, we gently chide it like a small child. However, like all good parasites, it feeds on us…becoming stronger as we become stupider. Could happen, may happen, did happen and the guessing games we play with our partner are the things that drive the stake into every LDR. And when you start stalking his e-mail, Facebook and Google Map on an hourly basis, it is time to break up.
Focus on self:
Enjoy the LDR while it lasts. You have this precious time to yourself, where you have someone in the background to listen to your woes and coo ‘I love you’ into your ear while having all the space you desire. So do things with your time instead of pining for your love. Work on your body, take up guitar lessons and seduce him or her at your next meeting with all your new skills.
Finally, a word of caution to the wise: keep in mind that LDRs can tax your entire sense of self. You are constantly in two time zones or cities. You have your life in your city but are constantly keeping track of your other half. It can get stressful, and tempers and egos will certainly fly. You will feel lonely at points and you do have to work extra hard at making an LDR work. But the joy and happiness that you feel when you see your love stepping off the flight or train after many months of not meeting and realise he or she is all that you want, well then, nothing can really compare to it.
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