Right Or Left?

Which way are relationships headed in the digital age? Razi Shaikh finds out how mobile technology has transformed the whole concept of dating

“I could have taken a left but I took a right. And kids, that’s how I met your mother.’

The thing with the above scenario is that it worked both thirty years ago and would work thirty years in the future as well. Of course, the earlier scenario, would be walking on a street, taking a random turn to the right, bumping into a person and the subsequent chats with them. Thereafter, if Lady Luck was shining on you, you could have found yourself a partner for life. While we may adore such a scenario, the formidable odds in today’s digital age remind us exactly how unreal it can be. Of course you can take a walk on the street and take a turn towards your right, into a street full of people. But, with your eyes glued to your mobile screen, there’s a scant chance you’re going to notice anyone, let alone meet your potential soul mate.

NOT SUCH A HAPPY SCENARIO ANYMORE, IS IT?
Wait! In the age of technology, we always have options. Getting off our smartphones might be like doing the unthinkable but finding someone interesting through it is now possible. The future of dating seems now promising because of mobile dating apps like Tinder. Unlike WhatsApp whose recent updates (blue arrows signalling read messages) suggest it wishes to break relationships, apps like Tinder promises to make new ones. Mind you, Tinder isn’t a pioneer in digital dating. Yahoo chat rooms and the now defunct Orkut might sound pre-historic but those places are where it all started. Nowadays everyone owns a mobile phone and there are several services on offer where you can simply dial a number and connect with someone interesting. If used skilfully, even the ubiquitous Facebook can be quite the dream come true for cyber stalkers, especially if they’re looking for a real relationship. Let’s put it this way – dating has never been this simple and it’s definitely never been so much fun.
Tinder, like Facebook, didn’t really offer us a new product. But like Facebook, Tinder has managed to revolutionise a cluttered segment in the social media space. Swipe right for a yes, swipe left for a no. Thanks to Tinder, online dating has just gotten a lot more interesting and incredibly superficial as well!

TRUE LIES
Tinder addicts and ‘Tinderellas’ must remember that the highlight reel one portrays online can be very different from their ‘behind the scenes’. Online profiles are deceptively dissimilar from the real thing. Our Facebook and (consequently) Tinder reel lives are very different from our real life. We choose to portray our best selves, and whilst not necessarily harmful, it can often prove to be misleading and occasionally heartbreaking. Can online dating be more a meeting of virtual facades than real people? Henal Bhatt, a media student claims, “Online dating is frivolous. It certainly is convenient to meet a lot of new people through the various dating sites and apps, but that’s about it.”

IS IT FOR EVERYONE?
Is the online dating scenario as rosy as the ads for Shaadi.com? Or can it turn out to be as egregious as a scene from a Ram Gopal Verma horror flick? It depends on a number of things such as your notions about relationships, your own preferences, the number of modern people in your city who are into online dating and so on. All these factors jointly determine the user experience. Take the case of AJ, a twenty-year-old college student. She explains, “I don’t really use Tinder. Mainly because I get hit on by guys and never by women (my preference)! Plus, I’m not comfortable with the profiling system of dating apps, which show the names, age, likes, dislikes and all. It takes away the mystery and romance of discovering another human being by yourself.” Everyone perceives it differently. Some see it as a pale shadow of real world dating. Others see it as a much needed advancement modern relationships could do with. There’s also a view that online dating can help transcend barriers, especially in a country like India. Tejas Harad, a junior copy editor expounds, “I think we need an app like this tailor-made to the Indian context. A large number of urbanites are finally enjoying the freedom to decide their own partners.
Parents also have become open to their children having premarital relationships. But still the concept of ‘dating’, which is essential before you find a right partner, is still not as prevalent in India. An app like Tinder has the potential to change that for the better, even if in a very limited way.”

CYBORG OR SOUL MATE?
Online dating can be seen as superficial or simply as a medium to connect you with people who you may be interested in and who you otherwise would never meet. Applications like Tinder can match similar profiles, and then it depends on the matches whether they actually hit it off and end up meeting. Dating is based on the consent and connect between two people. The digital age can do little to change that. No matter what the future of dating will be, it’s abundantly clear that online dating is what the user makes of it. As with all technological advancements, it solely depends on how we use them to our advantage.

Volume 4 Issue 6