My Thoughts on Apple Users

Funnyman Azeem Banatwalla gives us the scoop on why Apple ‘fanboys’ annoy him

I also don’t understand why people are willing to spend so much money on iPhones. When the iPhone 5 released, it was selling on the Indian grey market for almost one lakh rupees. I mean, okay, I know it’s good and everything, but unless that phone is capable of transforming into Christina Hendricks, making you a sandwich and doing unmentionable things to you while you eat it, I really don’t think it’s a very good bargain.

I have realised you can never question an Apple product in front of a fanatic. It’s taboo.

How DARE you say unmentionable things like  “Dude, it doesn’t have Bluetooth?’ BLASPHEMY!

I don’t have a problem with Apple. I think the products themselves are fantastic. I mean, you only have to sell three kidneys to afford an iMac, right?

I do have a problem with Apple fanatics. They are the scourge of mankind, Like IPL fans of the tech world, they are annoying and everywhere. I’d rather be in an episode of The Walking Dead than in an Apple convention.

I really don’t understand their ideology: “I have an expensive phone, which was made by this hipster dude who died. It’s really expensive, so it must be better than that Samsung crap you’re using. Now excuse me while I take a shower with Dettol. I was touched by a Nokia user a couple of hours ago”.

Also, you can’t win an argument with an Apple fanatic. No matter how statistically proven your facts about the latest Android being superior, their response is invariably “You’re just jealous you don’t have an iPhone” or “You’re just poor, dude” or the more articulate “Sty Hngry Sty Fulish broski. Jobz4Life homiez <3”

Volume 2 Issue 9