My Teacher Creepiest

Have you ever had a teacher who managed to give you the chills? Well, you’re not alone. Isha Mathur snoops around to gather some of the weirdest teacher habits from traumatised students

They scream, they stalk, they sob, they spank, they seduce. THEY HAVE DONE IT ALL, like, for real. From kindergarten to universities, they’ve always been disturbing.  Admit it, fellas. We all have had teachers who have managed to creep us out with their inconceivable acts. Sometimes, even habitually.  So here are those mindboggling, unbelievable, implausible and retarded habits our beloved teachers possess.

“My Teacher Spanked Me!”
“I once had this teacher who had the most disturbing habit ever. In her sheer desire to be cool and liked by the students (d’oh, doesn’t she know it’s physically impossible for us to like teachers?), she used to walk around spanking kids. I repeat, spanking them. Difficult to grasp, isn’t it? So here goes, I was doing the usual, you know, loitering about in the corridors of our ghostly school and I suddenly felt a whack on my butt. My ultimate reflex was shock. I turned and the shock turned intense. There she was, gawking at me with her eerie eyes. Her stare turned into a smirk as she started to explain to me how she likes ‘spanking’ kids who wander aimlessly in the school (yes, ‘cause THAT’S a punishment). Well, if that was her technique to make kids attend lectures and sit in class, I’m sure she succeeded by emotionally scarring every kid with this hideous act.”
– Rida Surve.

“My Teacher Stalks me on Facebook!”
“Facebook was my planet. A planet where I could express fearlessly about anything and everything under the sun. A planet with no rules and regulations. A planet away from School. A planet away from TEACHERS. But gone were those days when I made the thoughtless mistake of accepting my teacher’s friend request. Since that day, there has been no peace. She stalks me day and night. She never disappoints me by leaving out even one post untouched or ‘UNLIKED’.  Can you feel the peculiarity creeping in? Well, wait for it. She even messages me if she doesn’t like a particular picture and God forbid I don’t delete that picture! Sometimes, she makes me teach her different poses and believe me, it took me a while to teach her how to pout without scaring people away. She’s one hell of a freak.”  – Raina Mitra

“My Teacher Cries to a Noisy Class!”
“She’s weird. She’s incapable of managing a class full of hooligans like us. She’s got this uncanny habit of crying if the class doesn’t pay attention! I mean, that’s just ridiculous. The first time it happened, we were all taken aback when she sobbed and begged us for attention. I would be lying if I don’t admit the guilt I felt that time. But our unstable teenage hormones got us back on track the next class. And then, it just became a routine. Like a vicious circle. We howled, she cried. We laughed, she cried. We pretty much did anything, she cried and cried. We all got sick and tired of her drama and gradually out of 60, only 15 attended her lectures. Guess what she did then? Yes, my friend. She cried. Unpredictable, isn’t it? Creepy as she is, we sympathise now. Hoping that wouldn’t make her shed tears of joy!”  – Malhar Maheshwari.

“My Male Teacher Gets Touchy with Guys!”
“Strange. Bizarre. Peculiar. Unbelievable and far-fetched as it sounds, it’s true. He’s someone we all run away from. But what can I say? He gets his fair share of chances. Once I had hidden one of my classmate’s book (badass, right?) and she went and whined to him about the same. Then, the incident is all too vivid.  He marched towards me, hoping to get the book. He took me to a corner of the class and started checking me! His hand stroked my body and as he came close to me, he asked ‘book kahan hai?’ Of course, the book must’ve mysteriously slid inside my clothes. He id that for the next five minutes and I stood there helpless. After this incident, we all were left with one question in our mind – was he really searching for the book!?”  – Ansh Ahuja.

“My Teacher is a Wannabe Love Guru!”
“Walking away from the staff room gossip is self-worth but walking towards the student cafeteria with love advice is mere hopelessness. I have this teacher who would trash the staff room gossip and come and sit at different tables in the cafeteria every day with a new group of students. She would talk to them all about their love life and provide unnecessary solutions to non-existent problems that perhaps may occur soon. She has creeped out students to such an extent that now people have stopped having lunch in the cafeteria. They sneak out of college whenever they see her around or have a scheduled lecture with  her. Who knows? She might just give up the subject and talk to students about their relationship issues. I foresee a lot of flunking and bad grades. Don’t you?”– Nehan Surve

Bizzare Punishments
We’ve all been at the receiving end of punishments during our school or college days. But you know you’re one of the lucky ones if you’ve managed to steer clear of these bizarre punishments.
* Making students work in the canteen and sell Vada Pavs for a week. Whoa, looks like being a chicken is too mainstream.
* Tying two ponies on guys with long hair which they can’t take off till they get a haircut. Cute, eh?
* If students do not wear the right shoes after the monsoon, they’re made to take rounds of the ground with their slippers in their hands. Now that’s physical training!
* If your homework is not done, wait back and clean the cupboards of other teachers and carry their things to every class for a week.
Creepy teachers + weird punishments = ‘I think I’ll stay in bed today, thanks’

Volume 3 Issue 1