Broken Threads Of Hope

Her eyes are still acquitted and voice timorous but there’s blood on her wee hands. Khushi admits she killed her father, who subjected her mother to sexual abuse for several years and left her alone for nothing. The 16-year-old is from a broken home, a house that is torn apart due to strains, disparities and certain difficulties. Parth Shah takes the fictional example of Khushi to illuminate the consequences of a divided family

There is now strong substantiation that living in an unhappy marriage may be far better for children than separation or divorce, which are causative reasons to misbehavior of juveniles. Broken homes lead to lack of parental affection and security, as well as lack of family ties.

Parents are often oblivious to the fact that although there may be rifts between one another, children are often attached to both of the parents and go through a lot of mental load seeing the two people that they love the most yell and curse at each other. Amongst all this, the developing mind is exposed to the gory truths of families that are on the threshold of splitting. They reason that their parents have no time for them and they obviously realize that their lives and fights have become much more than the child’s life and needs.

Imagine coming home hungry, thirsty and injured while at play and hearing you parents yelling and cursing at each other. They can’t be bothered to hear your worries and suddenly you seem worthless, realizing that you have none to care for. Your childhood goes about being a troubled one, domestic violence being uncommon, and then the split comes when the last straw falls.

The grim fact that children have to live with only one parent, withholding their love from the other one is heart-wrenching. In addition, the separation often doesn’t wind-up the skirmish. Three out of four non- custodial parents said that aer putting their children through all this, they now wished they had never divorced. We need to get this message through to every family who are considering separation: it is abysmal to make your children chose the parent they love more. Just because the marriage doesn’t work out, your child need not have a rotten childhood. No caring parent wants their children to writhe and one must give it all to make the marriage work for the child if not for their better half.

The hurt and grief
Children from broken homes are oen very distraught. They have concealed anguish, they cry alone in
their rooms at night, have nightmares about their parents’ crumbling marriage. Sadly, they aren’t able to share what they are going through and many try very hard to put on their guard and preclude their parents from seeing their agony. Some children were furious with the parent they blamed for breaking up the home, and usually by the same-sex parent, commonly felt feelings of denunciation.

Staggered, mortified but rarely reassured
Some were surprised by the separation. Others were embarrassed to mention the unfortunate turn of events to their friends. though divorce rates are rising, most marriages remain intact, as eight out of ten children live with a married couple and most children don’t want to be different. Also, some children are relieved by the split in the family as either one of the parent may have severe personality issues such as recklessness, an alcoholic or have subjected them to witnesses of verbal or domestic abuse on the other.

But most children want reconciliation to take place. None of the children blamed themselves but they often have a hard time keeping up with both the parents. They want the relationship to persist but for that approval has to gained from the guardian and it’s almost like scheduling an appointment which is very disheartening. Access to the other is difficult, even when arrangements work soundly and they frequently nose-dive with divergences or parents letting each other down.

The probable solution
The first and much obvious fact to solving broken family issues is for each member of the family to concede that there are issues present and agreeing that solving them is a priority. This process starts by actively narrowing the communication gap between each one of them. Typically families become broken through a lack of communication or negative behaviour stemming from difference in thought or ways, so the resolution is to do the exact opposite, which is present positive communication.
Because of potentially negative emotions towards each other, a tactic is bringing in a third party that is not biased toward either side to facilitate the communication.
These people, mostly counselors or therapists, serve as mediators during communication. Their focus is to keep the communication directed towards coming to a solution.
The last step in is patience. It takes an indefinite amount of time to repair a broken family. Parents need to make sure that the academics of the child aren’t disturbed and his school life is not unsympathetically affected.
Every family has its share of problems, but just like charity, empathy and responsibility begin at home.

 

Volume 5 Issue 2