Youth Incorporated Magazine

Being hopelessly in love with your lover is undoubtedly romantic. Being blind in love is utterly stupid. We all have made errors in choosing the perfect partner for ourselves. While some of us recognise and rectify them, some don’t. Out of the many unacceptable things that we accept ‘in the name of love’, letting go off the lying habit of our partner chokes the relationship. No good comes out from dating a liar. 

It’s not even an exaggeration when I tell you that the universe gives you multiple signs when something isn’t right. You just have to pick up the signs. However, I do understand that when one is in love, he/she just cannot see the imperfections and negative qualities of their partner, even though the odds speak completely against him/her. 

Here are sure shot signs to clarify that you are dating a liar

Their words and actions don’t match

As the old saying goes ‘actions speak louder than words’, focus on what they do rather than what they say. It takes very less effort to speak a few sweet, loving and assuring sentences, but it’s very difficult to mean it. Don’t fall for what they say, fall for the little actions they do. It is the actions that speak a million words. If they send you an ‘I miss you’ text but don’t take the effort to remove a few minutes of their day to talk to you, flush that ‘I miss you’ text out from your mind. If they say they are too busy with work to meet you but are free enough to ‘chill’ with their friends, you know ‘being busy’ was just a reason. Actions! Always observe actions.  

They always have reasons and stories ready

They have great stories but aren’t great storytellers, because due to some reasons their stories don’t completely convince you. They will tell you the most absurd stories/reasons like “I dozed off (in the middle of a working hour)”, “My phone fell off from the bus”, “I missed your text”, “I forgot to check my phone”, “Sorry I had to cancel at the last moment, I had to take my niece to the playground”, “I can’t meet today, I have another important plan I can’t cancel”, “No I am not avoiding you, I am just upset with one of my friend”, etc. 

If your partner says “Hi baby, sorry was caught up with things so couldn’t talk”, after completely vanishing for two or more days, then they are lying. This means, your partner is trying to tell you that they didn’t get even a min in two days to send you a simple text? Think! If you listen carefully, I am sure you will pick out some parts of the story that don’t quite fit. Pick those parts out and question them. You will see that they begin to falter and create another lie to cover the previous one. 

Your gut instinct tells you they are lying

Your partner will but your gut instinct won’t lie. Your gut instinct is probably the only one who is the most honest so always trust it. If your gut instinct tells you that something about your partner’s reasons or excuses sounds off, then something definitely is wrong. Pay attention to that gut instinct and then act on it. There is nothing wrong in questioning your partner if you feel something is wrong rather than keeping it to yourself. Talk about it and be honest. 

You become the bad one every single time

If you are dating a liar, you will have this pattern in your relationship, where you will always end up being the bad one. If they suspect that you aren’t buying their reasons and excuses, the usual “you don’t love me, because if you did, you would trust me”, “are you calling me a liar”, “if you don’t trust me then you shouldn’t be with me”, will be thrown at you. This is because they begin to fear being caught. You on the other hand, in the fear that things might take a sour turn, let it go and end up feeling guilty instead.   

You hardly know anything about their life

Liars have a tendency to be secretive. If you are dating a liar, you will know very few details about their life. You will only know a few of their friends or very little about their family. This is because they don’t expose you to their entire life. That’s not how a committed relationship should be, should it? Sure, everyone deserves to have private space of their own, but hiding things from each other isn’t what having a private space means. Having a private space means to have some ‘me’ time away from your partner. You have to be aware about your partner’s life. 

They contradict their own statements

Liars also tend to forget what they lie about. You will notice that the story they narrate for the first time undergoes moderation to a certain extent, everytime they repeat it. Sometimes some facts completely change and so does their stance in the “made up” story. What I mean to say is that if on some day your partner narrates you a story of why he/she couldn’t meet you, the next time you ask them to narrate the same story, you will see that the details might change, like a new character might add up in the story. 

You can let it go now and choose to ignore it just because you feel “everything is fair in love”, but there will come a time when their lying habit will begin to suffocate you. If these signs indicate that you are dating a liar, it’s time to call your partner out and find a solution.