My Thoughts on Surviving College

Hasina Khatib explains the pains of college life which you are not warned about before starting

Canteen food is NOT meant for eating. What canteen folks describe as ‘Chinese’ actually tastes like a cross between cough medicine & stale meat. Consider yourself warned!

Attendance registers have the power to change lives. The penalty for not making it there regularly includes protracted yelling matches, indefinite grounding and in some extreme cases, internals in jeopardy. Shudder!

As a cardinal rule, never go for a rock concert. The chances of getting out alive are slim. This point is null and void if you are a guy in which case you are probably inherently programmed to risk spinal injury the instant Led Zeppelin starts playing. However, before you oblige the mosh pit with your full and undivided attention, give us a heads-up and we’ll have a first aid team dogging your steps.

To prove your mettle as a normal, sane student you are fully expected to ditch a couple of internal tests. Now, of course, if you are the type who scores a minimum of 18/20 in all tests, even the surprise ones, we request you to stay on your guard. Chatur Inc For Shamefully Brainy Students should have a recruitment offer for you before you’re done reading this piece.

Clerks & cashiers are a different species altogether.  They stare, they glare, they insult. Spend too much time scrambling about for receipts or fishing out change and you’re dead meat.

Watchmen have a weird fetish for identity cards. Come hell or high water, they simple do NOT allow you to enter without that tiny 10 inches of low-quality plastic slung around your neck. Given the number of deadened terrorists blowing up half-empty college buildings that these watchmen encounter on a daily basis, we get their point. Not.

Volume 2 Issue 10